Predators in the Pew: Protecting Against Child Abuse in Your Church

Jonathan was sick to his stomach. No pastor ever wants to see a child hurt. Yet his church was facing a lawsuit over sexual abuse that recently occurred in their children's ministry. He was bogged down with conversations with a lawyer, shepherding the distraught families in his congregation, feeling guilt over his failed leadership, and trying to hold things together. In his own words, Jonathan said, "It felt like a bomb just went off and I'm cleaning up the mess."

"Jimmy" was a friendly man who had joined First Baptist Church about a year ago. He was kind, and the members of First Baptist took a quick liking to him. He volunteered to teach a Sunday school class and got to know "Peter," an 8-year-old boy. Things started innocently. A hug at the end of class. Gifts for Peter. Lots of extra attention.

And then it happened. Jimmy took advantage of Peter. He made Peter keep it a secret. Peter cried a lot over the next few days (which was not like him), and eventually his mother got the secret out of him. She contacted the pastor immediately, but the church made excuses. She was so outraged that she sued the church.

When Churches Fail Our Kids

Sadly this is an all-too-familiar story. If you pay any attention to the news, you know that sexual offenders show up in churches. Like predators hurting defenseless prey, they do unspeakably horrible things to our children. Much could be prevented, but many churches do not know how to protect their children and how to respond when child sex abuse happens. It all adds up to being irresponsible with the littlest ones that God has entrusted to our care.

Why do churches fail our kids?    Continue at Deepak Reju

The New Legalism: Missional, Radical, Narcissistic, and Shamed

Anthony Bradley, Associate Professor of Theology and Ethics at The King’s College in New York City, has an excellent article today over at the Acton Institute’s Power blog. He starts with an observation he made recently on Facebook and Twitter:

Being a “radical,” “missional,” Christian is slowly becoming the “new legalism.” We need more ordinary God and people lovers (Matt 22:36-40).

He goes on to explain his comment:

I continue to amazed by the number of youth and youth adults who are stressed and burnt out from the regularly shaming and feelings of inadequacy if they happen to not being doing something unique and special. Today’s Millennial generation is being fed the message that if they don’t do something extraordinary in this life they are wasting their gifts and potential. The sad result is that many young adults feel ashamed if they “settle” into ordinary jobs, get married early and start families, live in small towns, or as 1 Thess 4:11 says, “aspire to live quietly, and to mind [their] affairs, and to work with [their] hands.” For too many Millennials their greatest fear in this life is being an ordinary person with a non-glamorous job, living in the suburbs, and having nothing spectacular to boast about.

Dr. Bradley goes on to explain two major factors in how this happened:   Continue at Rachel Miller

Evangelical Exhibitionists - Mark Driscoll and Ed Young Jr.

After hours of writing and half a dozen drafts, I've decided not to review or link to Mark Driscoll's latest book, Real Marriage. Over the past two weeks or so, lots of our readers have written via e-mail, Twitter, and Facebook to ask for a TeamPyro review of the book. Last week I said I'd go ahead and do it. But after trying for most of the weekend to write a review without breaching the boundaries of propriety and chaste conversation, I'm throwing in the towel.

The book is the umpteenth incarnation of Driscoll's infamous homilies on sex and the Song of Solomon. It is by no means the first book in which he has dealt with supposedly taboo sexual topics in graphic ways that are calculated to shock. (Now that I think of it: Has he ever written a book that doesn't somehow get around to the same themes that make up the table of contents of Porn-Again Christian?)

For several years, one of Driscoll's websites has featured a lot of the same kind of explicit material that recent reviewers have found so offensive. (The website actually includes some links and recommendations that point readers to even more outlandish and sex-saturated websites, such as "Christian Nymphos" and XXXChurch.) So the current controversy about the book's second half is literally years late. I'm quite amazed so many influential bloggers and Christian leaders seem totally unaware that Driscoll has been teaching this same stuff for years.  Keep Reading >>>

Mark Driscoll - Can We ______?

I am hoping that this will be my final article on the Driscolls and Real Marriage, at least for the time being. I do not want this subject to dominate my web site, but I do have one more thing to say. Before I say it, I want to review a few things I haven’t said. I have seen several things in the comments and out in the blogosphere attributed to me that I haven’t actually said, so let me take a moment to refocus the conversation.

1. I have not said that any particular sex act is wrong. The purpose of writing this little series is not to point to any single act and say, “That is wrong.”
2. I have not said that Real Marriage is all about sex or sex acts or sexual deviancy or that the book has no value. There are several parts of the book that are actually quite helpful; I will cover these in a review closer to the release date.
3. I don’t hate Mark Driscoll.

The reason I am writing these articles is to (hopefully) show that the grid the Driscolls use to evaluate sex acts that are right or wrong is faulty and that introducing that grid to a marriage could be very harmful. In my last article I showed that the grid does not do an adequate job of evaluating heart motives. Today I want to show that the Driscolls seem to have misunderstood the very passage they use to construct their grid.

By way of review, here is the method they teach to evaluate which sex acts are right and which are wrong. Speaking of 1 Corinthians, they write:  Keep Reading >>>

See also:

The Driscolls and Real Marriage

Real Marriage: Can We _______?

The Driscolls and Real Marriage

Mark Driscoll will be all over the news in the new year. Not only is he set to be a participant at the controversial Elephant Room conference on January 25, but January 3 will also mark the release of his newest book—the one that is bound to become his most controversial yet: Real Marriage: The Truth About Sex, Friendship & Life Together. Co-authored with his wife Grace, the book is being marketed as a down-to-earth and no-holds-barred look at marriage and sex. 

Especially sex.

Though Real Marriage weighs in at over 200 pages and 11 chapters, there is one chapter that is going to generate the vast majority of the buzz. I plan to write a review of the whole book closer to the release date. For now, though, I want to reflect on that one chapter.

Before I go any farther I need to warn you that the contents of this blog post and any that follow are going to deal with topics that are uncomfortable for many people (myself included!)—particularly in the older generation. They have to. What the Driscolls deal with in this chapter, and what they deem biblical, are not only sex acts, but acts considered sexually deviant by many. If you are young or if you simply do not want to read a discussion of such matters, please just stop reading now; there is no shame in doing so. I would prefer not to write about this at all, but now that the questions are being asked and answered, I believe there needs to be some kind of further response and discussion. Having said that, I will try to be as discreet as I can without sacrificing clarity.

Chapter 10 is titled simply “Can We________?”  Continue Reading >>>

When A Pastor Commits Suicide

“Strike the shepherd, and the sheep will be scattered” (Zechariah 13:7)

I am on my way home from the funeral of a fellow Baptist pastor who committed suicide. I got the news on Thursday morning (which explains why my usual Thursday or Friday blog post is absent; I was too deeply affected to do anything). The news came as a shock to me—and indeed to everyone else who knew the pastor. He had been an intern at Kabwata Baptist Church for a few months over ten years ago. He was a very fine man and slightly younger than me. I last met him two months ago when I was preaching at a pastors’ annual retreat. He has left behind a wife and three young children, plus a devastated congregation.

 

When a pastor commits suicide, apart from the emotion of shock there is also a lot of disappointment and dismay. As one member lamented, “Pastor was the one who always encouraged us to trust in the Lord Jesus Christ when overwhelmed by the challenges and difficulties that confronted us. How could he fail to handle whatever it is that made him take his life?” Some people who heard were even questioning his salvation: “Can a Christian commit suicide?” Others found in this the proof that the pastor was a hypocrite all along.   Continue Reading >>>

Let's Talk About Sex

What's happening at Penn State is crushing. It's a lose-lose. These children have already been abused and the way the university is handling the situation and the way the students are reacting only appear to be heaping shame upon shame. It's a time for all of us to grieve for these children and cry out to God for justice. 

However, there is a much larger question at stake: how should what happened at Penn State affect the way we handle reports of abuse in the church? I've seen two solutions so far:

1. we should immediately change our policies whether church or otherwise so that all abuse is immediately reported to the police and then reported to the proper higher ups
2. we should use diligence before proceeding to protect the reputation of those who may be falsely accused.

Justin Taylor offers both perspectives in his article How the Penn State Scandal Changes Our World. I'm sensitive to both for two reasons. I'm sensitive to the first because I am a father of two daughters in a culture where over 66% of people are sexually abused in some fashion. However, I'm sensitive to the second  because we live in our culture of lawsuits and revenge and I personally know of someone who is listed on the sexual predator list because he (over 18) gave someone (under 18) a wedgie. The parents were out for blood because of their sons hurt pride. We must protect our children from sexual abuse and we must protect innocent people from being branded as sexual predators who are not. Both scenarios are grievous offense.   Keep Reading   >>>

False Professors Solemnly Warned

“For many walk, of whom I have told you often, and now tell you even weeping, that they are the enemies of the cross of Christ: Whose end is destruction, whose God is their belly, and whose glory is in their shame, who mind earthly things.”—Philippians 3:18-19.

 There are many now among us, as there were then, who walk in such a manner that we recognize them at once as the “enemies of the cross of Christ.” I do fear that the evil, instead of having decreased, has multiplied and grown in danger. We have more profession now than there was in the age of Paul, and consequently we have mere hypocrisy.

It is a crying sin with our churches that there are many in their midst who never ought to be there, who would be fit members of an ale-house or any favorite resort of the gay and frivolous, but who never ought to sip the sacramental wine or eat the holy bread, the emblems of the sufferings of our Lord. We have — O Paul, how wouldst thou have said it to night, and how wouldst thou have wept while saying it! — we have many in our midst who are the “enemies of the cross of Christ,” because “their God is their belly, they mind earthly things,” and their life is not consistent with the great things of God.

I never read that the apostle wept when he was persecuted Though they plowed his back with furrows, I do believe that never a tear was seen to gush from his eye while the soldiers scourged him. Though he was cast into prison, we read of his singing, never of his groaning. I do not believe he ever wept on account of any sufferings or dangers to which he himself was exposed for Christ’s sake. I call this an extraordinary sorrow, because the man who wept was no soft piece of sentiment, and seldom shed a tear even under grievous trials. He wept for three things: he wept on account of their guilt; on account of the ill effects of their conduct; and on account of their doom.    Keep Reading>>>

Are You Prepared to Minister to Victims of Sexual Assault?

There is an epidemic of sexual assault and the statistics are jarring. One in four women and one in six men are or will be victims of sexual assault in their lifetime. As sobering as the statistics are, they don’t begin to speak to the darkness and grief experienced by these victims. Because sexual assault causes physical, psychological, emotional, and spiritual pain, victims need the kind of hope and help that only the gospel of Jesus Christ can provide.

Do you know how to help?

Tragically, many churches and Christians are woefully unprepared to help those who have been assaulted. Worse still, many Christian leaders (including parents) are ignorant of this epidemic because ashamed victims are reticent to simply declare what has been done to them, and untrained leaders do not recognize the signs of sexual assault or know how to inquire lovingly of victims. Keep Reading...

11 Ways to Protect Your Daughter From Barbie

American pop-culture has a rich diversity of icons, such as Apple’s Apple, Disney’s Mouse, McDonald’s Arches, Nike’s Swoosh, and Barbie, “the icon, the image, the ideal.”

"Girl Power"

Barbie’s maker and marketer, Mattel, bills the doll as a symbol of  “girl power” showing that Barbie can go to college, explore the universe as an astronaut, enjoy the thrill of motherhood, and run the country as President.  But, there are some deeper consequences with Barbie.

"Barbie is small and so petite. Her clothes and figure look so neat…. Some day I'm going to be exactly like you. Until then I know just what I'll do. I'll make believe I'm you." Shockingly, these words belong to the first Barbie jingle when she made her debut on March 9, 1959. Keep Reading...

Ashamed of Shame Itself

The Shame of Sexual Sin by John Piper