The Tragic Death Of The Funeral

Baby Boomer narcissism crowds out Christian meaning from a familiar ritual

Like most people, I don’t particularly relish encounters with death. But, welcome or not, I’ve had my fair share. I’ve clasped a woman’s hand as her breathing slowed, became sporadic, and finally ceased.  Through the cramped hallways of an ancient farmhouse, down which no stretcher could be maneuvered, I helped heft the sheet-wrapped body of a family’s matriarch to carry her to the waiting hearse. When a small Oklahoma church mourned a member who’d fallen asleep at the wheel, late at night, early in life, I was there, thinking of the joyless “Joy the World” the band of believers had choked out the day before that December 26th funeral. In each of these situations, the death of the young or the old, there was within me a desire to lighten the load of grief borne by the survivors, to shine a ray of life into the gloom of death.

Because of that desire, when I first heard about families opting to have a so-called “Celebration of Life” service for their departed loved ones, instead of a funeral, my interest was piqued. Perhaps here was a viable alternative. The name alone effuses a positive, uplifting appeal that “funeral” or “memorial service” can’t begin to match. Celebrations are good, right? And, life, well, who can possibly have any qualms about that? Perhaps this approach to confronting death, at least the ceremonial part of saying goodbye, would help alleviate some of the pain associated with, and expressed in, a more traditional rite. Maybe it was time to have a funeral for the funeral.    Continue at

The New Legalism: Missional, Radical, Narcissistic, and Shamed

Anthony Bradley, Associate Professor of Theology and Ethics at The King’s College in New York City, has an excellent article today over at the Acton Institute’s Power blog. He starts with an observation he made recently on Facebook and Twitter:

Being a “radical,” “missional,” Christian is slowly becoming the “new legalism.” We need more ordinary God and people lovers (Matt 22:36-40).

He goes on to explain his comment:

I continue to amazed by the number of youth and youth adults who are stressed and burnt out from the regularly shaming and feelings of inadequacy if they happen to not being doing something unique and special. Today’s Millennial generation is being fed the message that if they don’t do something extraordinary in this life they are wasting their gifts and potential. The sad result is that many young adults feel ashamed if they “settle” into ordinary jobs, get married early and start families, live in small towns, or as 1 Thess 4:11 says, “aspire to live quietly, and to mind [their] affairs, and to work with [their] hands.” For too many Millennials their greatest fear in this life is being an ordinary person with a non-glamorous job, living in the suburbs, and having nothing spectacular to boast about.

Dr. Bradley goes on to explain two major factors in how this happened:   Continue at Rachel Miller

Rude: Where are our Manners?

I'm always being shocked. No one signals, people don't say hello back when you pass them in the park, people walk three abreast on the sidewalk and don't move for anyone. Who says excuse me or sorry or thank you anymore? -Valerie Pringle

Rude: Where are our Manners? is a one-hour documentary exploring our ideas of modern civility, or lack thereof. 

Valerie Pringle walks with civility expert, Benet Davetian, on a P.E.I. street. 

 

People's perception of our world is that we've become increasingly uncivil - kids are out of control, people talk on their cellphones everywhere and the f-word is a standard greeting. 

But hasn't every generation since time began worried that their world was becoming less tolerant and less civil? And isn't change sometimes for the better? Not too long ago a woman wearing pants could be seen as uncivil, and for that matter so was an African American person using a public water fountain.

Valerie Pringle interviews Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners. Read more of the interview online.

Rude: Where are our Manners? will take a journey through the past and into our present while asking difficult questions - are we more uncivil, where did we go wrong, did we go wrong, and is it possible to change? 

Our guide will be Valerie Pringle, she wants answers to why our world seems so rude. She tracks down the experts in her quest for a 21st century guide to manners.  Watch the full episode at CBC Doc Zone

Generation Me and Youth Ministry Today (Part 2)

This is a continuation of yesterday’s post on some of the concerns surrounding youth ministry as it is often practiced in Evangelicalism today. To read part one click here.

Some Practical Suggestions for Ministering to Youth

For those who may be weary of the extraordinary and want to invest more energy in rethinking how we engage in the ordinary ministry for all generations, including the next, here are a few suggestions. I’m sure others, more experienced than I, can come up with others.

1. Turn the youth group into a nursery for faith. In our culture, the “youth culture” is in the driver’s seat, with the goal even of older people to be “forever young.” According to the Scripture, though, sanctification is all about joining the rest of the church in “growing up in Christ” as our head, through the ordinary ministry of pastors and teachers (Eph 4: so that we may no longer be children, tossed to and fro by the waves and carried about by every wind of doctrine, by human cunning, by craftiness in deceitful schemes” (Eph 4:10-15). In The Lost Tools of Learning, Dorothy Sayers notes how children learn at first by parroting. This stage is perfect for rote memorization, building the stock of Christian grammar that they will use the rest of their lives. Then they begin to question things, looking for the logical connections between different beliefs and reasons for them. (We call this being a teenager!) Finally, they enter the “rhetoric” stage, where they understand, express, explain, and live the faith for themselves. We shouldn’t let our culture’s child-centered educational philosophy keep us from emphasizing rote memorization. However, we also should be ready to accept and even to encourage the questioning stage, so that they can embrace Christ and his Word for themselves.
2. Are we preparing younger believers for the communion of saints? When do they actually share in the public service, learning in growing stages to participate in the corporate prayers, confession, praise, giving, hearing, and receiving the Supper? When we include them in the service from the earliest possible years, they grow from fidgety toddlers to gradually appreciate what is happening and that they are equal sharers in it. We should not create alternative services for different age groups during the ordinary worship service, but bring them into the service and worship of the Triune God with his people.  Continue at Michael Horton

Loving Muslim Neighbors

IMPORTANT UPDATE: Rick Warren responded yesterday to the Orange County Register story with a helpful clarification.

“Who is my neighbor?”, the rich young ruler asked Jesus. The query was an attempt to deflect responsibility. Of course, I have a responsibility for my family, kinsmen, and fellow Jews, but surely not for the outcasts, the morally unclean, or the Gentile. No loophole, Jesus replied. Your neighbor is the one right under your nose, whomever God created in his image. Like the rich young ruler, we all have ways of defining “neighbor” as someone who is like us. It’s group narcissism: not really loving my neighbor, but loving myself and what I see of myself in others.

Who Is My Neighbor?

We recognize our responsibilities to our own families, church, and perhaps various voluntary associations. There are school ties: fraternity/sorority mates, secret societies, and alumni associations, where belonging gives advantages in climbing the corporate ladder or getting your kids into Harvard. In a less mobile era, churches reflected the demographics of their neighborhood, as it was often divided between the farm and the town, or along racial and socio-economic lines (different sides of the tracks). Even in many cases where blacks and whites worshipped together, the former sat in the loft—never in the main gallery—and certainly did not drink from a common cup in Communion. (Paul says something about this in 1 Corinthians.) In our mobile society today, churches are more divided than ever into ever-smaller niche demographics defined by the marketplace.

In all of these cases, we choose our neighbors. They are people who are like us. We share similar playlists on our iPod, shop at the same stores, drive similar cars, and even dress alike. When we move to a new city or suburb, we find a neighborhood, church, and school that most closely fits our own self-chosen identity. (Of course, some people have more freedom to choose than others.)  Continue at Michael Horton

Narcissism Radically Pervades Contemporary Culture

The March edition of Tabletalk is out. This month’s issue explores the narcissism that radically pervades contemporary culture. Scripture speaks of improper self-love often, constantly combating this destructive tendency, which is stimulated by sin and affects everyone in society, from the least to the greatest. This issue aims to encourage believers to think properly about themselves and the gifts God has bestowed upon them for the good of the church.

Contributors include R.C. Sproul along with Elyse Fitzpatrick, Kelly Kapic, Eric Landry, Jonathan Leeman, John MacArthur, Stephen Meyer, Richard Phillips, Harry Reeder, R.C. Sproul Jr. and Carl Trueman. Tabletalk features articles about topics central to the Christian faith and daily, in-depth Bible studies with featured columns by contributors such as Michael Haykin and David Murray. 

We do not post all of the feature articles or the daily devotionals from the issue, so you’ll have to subscribe to get those. But for now, here are links to a few select columns and articles from this month:

• Theological Narcissism by Burk Parsons
• The Coming of the Kingdom by R.C. Sproul
• It’s Not About You by Eric Landry
• Enlightened Self-Interest by R.C. Sproul Jr.
• Christian Parenting by Elyse Fitzpatrick
• Your Church and Your Life Planning by Jonathan Leeman
• Scripture and Science in Conflict?: An Interview With Stephen C. Meyer
• Fallacious History by Carl Trueman

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Osama Bin Laden and the Terror of Narcissism

Osama Bin Laden was wicked. Osama Bin Laden was feared. He was also, it turns out, kind of pathetic. Among the items American forces pulled out of the terrorist leader’s compound last week are videos of Bin Laden, wrapped in a blanket, watching himself on television. As ABCNews reports, the warlord is seen to be “a vain pathetic old man.” When I read this in the New York Times, I immediately thought of 1990s song “Mr. Jones” by the band Counting Crows: “When I look at the television, I want to see me staring right back at me.”

And what the old fox wanted to see was not just himself, but a younger version. American forces confirm that Bin Laden was dying his beard, to manage his image in order to appear more vibrant to his supporters around the world. Keep Reading...

Is Narcissism on the Rise?