Don’t Raise Good Kids

Parents, don’t raise good kids. I’m a recovering good kid, and I’m here to tell you that the gospel isn’t for good kids.

I was pretty easy for my parents to raise. I was generally compliant, had a buoyant, warm personality, didn’t get into any serious trouble, was liked by my teachers for the most part, usually did respectably in school, was a leader in my church groups, and had plenty of friends. My adolescent, wild-oat sowing would only generate smirks and eye rolls.

My folks and most adults in my life affirmed me as a good kid, and I believed it. Which posed a problem for me: I struggled to grasp the gospel.

 

Me? Hell?

Though I believe my pre-adolescent conversion was real — God is gracious to produce and honor a small seed of real faith — it was hard to swallow that I was that bad. God showing favor on me in redemption made sense because others had shown favor on me. But it was hard for me to see that this favor was not the approval of a good kid but the pardoning of a condemned sinner. Really? Me deserve hell?

It took quite a while — I am, in fact, still recovering — to see that in reality I was (am) profoundly depraved. Much of my outward good behavior was fueled by evil, selfish motives. Underneath my good-kid veneer was a glory-stealing, envious, covetous, idolatrous, lecherous person.   Continue at Jon Bloom

Sorry Kids: Back to School = Back to Bedtime

Sorry kids, back to school means back to bedtime. One of the odd characteristics of our time is our apparent need  for scientific verification of what we should know by simple common sense. Well, help now comes in the form of a research project undertaken by University College London. The bottom line—children with a fixed and consistent bedtime performed better on tests of cognitive ability.

As Sumathi Reddy of The Wall Street Journal reported, “Researchers at University College London found that when 3-year-olds have a regular bedtime they perform better on cognitive tests administered at age 7 than children whose bedtimes weren’t consistent. The findings represent a new twist on an expanding body of research showing that inadequate sleep in children and adolescents hurts academic performance and overall health.”

The researchers in Britain were not concerned with the amount of sleep or the time of going to bed. Their concern was the function of a consistent bedtime for children and adolescents. As they reported, having a fixed bedtime turns out to have significant cognitive advantages.   Continue at Al Mohler

Dear Stay-At-Home Mom…

You are a gift of God to your husband and your kids.

But you don’t always feel that way, do you?

There’s a low-level feeling of guilt that creeps into your heart from time to time. Sometimes it bubbles over into tears, usually on lonely, difficult days.

You scan blogs and read books about being a good mom. You find some helpful tidbits here and there, often from women who are grandmothers now. 

Women you can learn from but who seem to have forgotten the struggle. They seem to have it all together.

In your heart, you want to be the kind of mom who trains up kids to make a difference for the kingdom. You know it’s an honor to be entrusted with these kids. You know you’ve only got one shot. You want to be the mom who teaches them the Bible, models how to pray, and trains them up in the fear of the Lord.

But most of the time you feel like you’re barely holding it all together.

Your house cleaning can’t keep up with your kids’ mess-making.

The kids embarrass you by acting up right when your guests arrive.

Your husband doesn’t get just how worn out you are by the end of the day.

You come to the end of your patience. You lose your temper. Then you feel worse.

The last thing you consider yourself to be is a “good mom.” And you think to yourself, It’ll be a miracle if my kids turn out okay.

And – surprisingly – that’s right where God wants to meet you. The place where you admit your powerlessness and your need for Him.

It’s only by God’s grace that any kid grows up to be a force for the kingdom.  Continue at Trevin Wax

Ten Tips for Teaching Kids

The most recent edition of Matthias Media’s enews newsletter had a great little list of tips for teaching young children about God. It was written by Stephanie Carmichael. Carmichael has written several books for young kids and two of them, Grumpy Day and The Birthday Party are available to read online. Here are her tips:

Teach all the time: Young children live in the moment. Help them to learn in the moment by making the most of opportunities as they arise. Talk about God in the day-to-day things you are doing.

Teach at a special time: Try to set aside a special time to read about God. Prepare for this time. If you are going to read the Bible, think about what you will read and how to simplify and explain it.

Questions and answers: Listen to your children’s questions, and give quality time to answering them. But also ask them questions about what you’ve been trying to teach to check they have understood.    Continue Reading...

The Cult of Self-Esteem is Ruining our Kids

“Your kids will fail. This is both inevitable and also necessary. Apparently not many parents today want to hear this uncomfortable fact. And they certainly don’t want to implement it in how they discipline their children. Writing the cover story for The Atlantic’s July/August issue, therapist Lori Gottlieb alerts us that the cult of self-esteem is ruining our kids. Convinced they are the center of the universe and capable of anything, our children have become insufferable narcissists. Then, when these kids grow up and fail, as they must, they head for the nearest therapist, worried their lives have gone horribly wrong.” Gottlieb writes:

[R]ates of anxiety and depression have also risen in tandem with self-esteem. Why is this? “Narcissists are happy when they’re younger, because they’re the center of the universe,” [psychology professor Jean] Twenge explains. “Their parents act like their servants, shuttling them to any activity they choose and catering to their every desire. Parents are constantly telling their children how special and talented they are. This gives them an inflated view of their specialness compared to other human beings. Instead of feeling good about themselves, they feel better than everyone else.” Continue reading….

Do You Teach Your Kids the Gospel or Law?

Don't Breed Despair in Your Kids

Every way we try to make our kids good that isn’t rooted in the good news of the life, death, resurrection, and ascension of Jesus Christ is damnable, crushing, despair-breeding, Pharisee-producing law. We won’t get the results we want from the law. We’ll get either shallow self-righteousness or blazing rebellion or both (frequently from the same kid on the same day!). We’ll get moralistic kids who are cold and hypocritical and who look down on others, or you’ll get teens who are rebellious and self-indulgent and who can’t wait to get out of the house. We have to remember that in the life of our unregenerate children, the law is given for one reason only: to crush their self-confidence and drive them to Christ. Keep Reading...

8 Tips for Talking to Kids about the Sermon

They sit there next to you and their feet don’t even hit the floor.  You’re thinking, “What, if anything of this guy’s sermon is sinking into my kid’s head?”  And with that little thought you’ve already decided not to engage your child about the sermon.  But it doesn’t have to be that way.

Let me introduce you to the most important rule when talking to your kids about the sermon: They retain more than you think they do.  The second most important rule is like it: They understand more than you think they do.  

In the interest of these two truths I’m writing this brief guide on how to talk to your kids about a sermon.  I’m writing it both as a preacher and as a parent of four boys under the age of 8.  I’ve failed, succeeded, and failed some more at talking to my kids about Jesus.  Hopefully the tips you find below will help you as they’ve helped me.  

At the heart of the gospel is Jesus introducing us to his loving Father.  In worship we get to make a similar introduction—we get to introduce our kids to Jesus.  Don’t miss that opportunity.

8 Tips for Talking to your Kids about the Sermon

1. Remember the outline.  It doesn’t matter if you keep written notes or not.  Remember the gist of what is being taught.  If your pastor preaches for 40 minutes, then try to make a mental note of what you’ve covered at the 20 minute point.  Don’t be discouraged if you can’t get every point.  Get as many of the big ones as you can. Keep Reading>>>