Is it Gossip or Conversation?

People talk. They talk behind your back. They talk about you. They talk about your leadership decisions. It’s normative. Expect it. And don’t call this talk gossip. Most of the time it’s not.

If you’re a leader, then you probably lean towards being a control freak. It’s expected. Laissez-faire leaders don’t typically last long. In many ways, leadership is simply interference with the status quo. When people talk, you want to shape the conversation. That’s healthy. That’s leadership.

What is not healthy is how often leaders can gripe about conversations as if it’s gossip every time someone says something about them while not in their presence. Get over it. Dialogue is not gossip. In fact, discussions are usually good signs. It means you’re doing something that causes people to talk. But how can you discern between gossip (which is clearly a sin) and conversation (which is not sinful)?   Continue at Sam Rainer

7 Things a Pastor's Kid Needs from a Father

Pastors, your position is a demanding one, and those demands bring unique struggles on your family. A pastor's wife bears a great burden, but she usually enters into the ministry willingly. A pastor's children, though, are carried on the current of their parents' calling. It is often a life of singular struggle and uncommon needs. These struggles often stem from the failures of the father. This isn't to cast full blame on pastors for their children's problems. But it is to say that pastors need to work to be good dads.

My own father has worked hard at this. He had his blind spots and weaknesses, and they have been a source of tension between him and me. But to this day, in his 33rd and last year of pastoral ministry, he has never stopped trying to be a better father. As I wrote this I thought of his failures, yes, but I also thought of successes. Lots of them. I also thought of dozens of conversations with fellow PKs about such struggles and their own relationships with their fathers. So know that my writing does not stem from bitterness of heart or some jaded desire to expose a good man's faults. I love my dad. My desire is to see struggles avoided or defeated for other pastors and PKs.

So here are seven of the most significant ways a pastor can be a good father to his children. Pastors, your child needs . . .

1. A dad, not a pastor

Yes, you are called to pastor your family, but PKs want a dad---someone who plays with them, protects them, makes them laugh, loves their mom, gives hugs, pays attention, teaches them how to build a budget and change the oil and field a ground ball. We want committed love and warmth. We want a dad who's not a workaholic.   Continue at Barnabas Piper

Fellowship and Conversation

When the Lord first blessed me with an opportunity to teach regularly at one of Grace Church’s home Bible studies, I spent some time thinking and praying about what I’d wanted to teach on as I began my time with that wonderful group. Eventually, my heart was inclined to teach something on fellowship, because a home Bible study is a place where life is lived out together in community, a place where we can spur one another on to love and good deeds (Heb 10:24-25), and to encourage one another as long as it is called “Today,” so that none will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin (Heb 3:12).

What comes into your mind when you hear the word “fellowship”? Friends? Interesting and inspiring conversations? Sharing a meal, or having a snack with someone? How about the time of a church service or Bible study where the teaching is officially over and everyone gets to just hang out?

As I prepared to teach on what the Bible had to say about fellowship, I looked up the instances of the word koinonia in the New Testament. Interestingly, I found that the New Testament usage seemed to have very little to do with what I thought about when I heard the word “fellowship” used. It spoke about:

• Relationships between believers (Acts 2:42; 1 John 1:3, 7)
• Contributing and sharing resources (Romans 15:26; 2 Corinthians 8:4; 9:13; Heb 13:16)
• Fellowship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit (1 Corinthians 1:9; 10:16; 1 John 1:3, 6; 2 Corinthians 13:14; Philippians 2:1)
• Participation and Partnership (2 Corinthians 6:14; Galatians 2:9; Philippians 1:5, 6; 3:10)   Continue at  Mike Riccardi