Life as an “Ordinary” Pastor’s Kid

Over at the Blazing Center, Barnabas Piper, son of pastor John Piper, has an article on what to do when you meet a pastor’s kid. He’s apparently written a book about what it’s like to grow up in a pastor’s family. As a pastor’s daughter and missionary’s granddaughter, I’m generally interested to hear other “stories from the trenches.” Life in a pastor’s family has its challenges, but it also has great blessings. My friend, Megan Hill, has written a series of great articles on the subject that I highly recommend: part 1, part 2, part 3. (Megan is both a pastor’s daughter and a pastor’s wife, so she knows what she’s talking about.)

Back to Barnabas’ article. I was interested to read his take on being a pastor’s kid. Reading his list, though, I realized that I couldn’t relate to his concerns at all. It took me a minute to realize why: I’m not a celebrity pastor’s kid. Apparently it makes a big difference.   Continue at Rachel Miller

10 Questions with Barnabas Piper on His New Book “The Pastor’s Kid”

Today Barnabas Piper’s book The Pastor’s Kid: Finding Your Own Faith and Identity is being released. Being the son of John Piper (who wrote the forward), he draws on his own experience of growing up as a PK. Pastors who want to raise their kids as best as they can will benefit immensely. Barnabas provides several quotes from many other PKs, too, representing a broader perspective on being raised in a minister’s family than just his own.

I was greatly helped by The Pastor’s Kid. Barnabas addresses many dynamics of the PK’s experience that I never could have seen coming. I recommend it not only to pastors, but also to their wives (Mrs. McKiddie swiped my pre-release copy, and she’s already a third of the way through it).  Curious to find out more, I threw a few questions his way about what it’s like being a pastor’s kid.   Continue at Pastoralized

Are All Sins Equally Heinous? A Response to Barnabas Piper

In a recent article, Barnabas Piper criticizes Christians for the manner in which they confront the sin of homosexuality.  The problem with these confrontations, argues Piper, is that they are not equally distributed over other sins.  What about the sin of fornication?  Or divorce?  Why do these not get equal attention?

This is certainly one of the most common objections to Christians who confront homosexuality.  But, I think there are a number of problems with it.  Let me mention just a few:

1.  This objection can be a distraction from the real issue.  When someone is confronted with sin, one of the most common defenses is to “accuse the accuser.” Maybe they weren’t compassionate enough.  Maybe they weren’t gentle enough.  Maybe the confrontation wasn’t executed precisely right.

While these reverse accusations might even be true, they are often made in order to deflect attention from the main issue, namely the sin in a person’s life.  There is no better way to avoid repentance than to say to one’s accuser, “Oh, yeah? Well you sin too.” The best defense is a good offense.

It would be like complaining to the police officer about getting a speeding ticket simply because he didn’t give everyone in your lane a speeding ticket.

Thus, when Christians have the courage to confront a sin like homosexuality in our culture (and yes, it does take courage), I am not sure the main focus needs to be on how poorly they confront other sins.    Continue at Canon Fodder

7 Things a Pastor's Kid Needs from a Father

Pastors, your position is a demanding one, and those demands bring unique struggles on your family. A pastor's wife bears a great burden, but she usually enters into the ministry willingly. A pastor's children, though, are carried on the current of their parents' calling. It is often a life of singular struggle and uncommon needs. These struggles often stem from the failures of the father. This isn't to cast full blame on pastors for their children's problems. But it is to say that pastors need to work to be good dads.

My own father has worked hard at this. He had his blind spots and weaknesses, and they have been a source of tension between him and me. But to this day, in his 33rd and last year of pastoral ministry, he has never stopped trying to be a better father. As I wrote this I thought of his failures, yes, but I also thought of successes. Lots of them. I also thought of dozens of conversations with fellow PKs about such struggles and their own relationships with their fathers. So know that my writing does not stem from bitterness of heart or some jaded desire to expose a good man's faults. I love my dad. My desire is to see struggles avoided or defeated for other pastors and PKs.

So here are seven of the most significant ways a pastor can be a good father to his children. Pastors, your child needs . . .

1. A dad, not a pastor

Yes, you are called to pastor your family, but PKs want a dad---someone who plays with them, protects them, makes them laugh, loves their mom, gives hugs, pays attention, teaches them how to build a budget and change the oil and field a ground ball. We want committed love and warmth. We want a dad who's not a workaholic.   Continue at Barnabas Piper