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Showing posts with label Addictions. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Addictions. Show all posts

Friday, May 30, 2014

Why So Many Men Are Addicted to Internet Porn and Video Games

You know the guy I'm talking about. He spends hours into the night playing video games and surfing for pornography. He fears he's a loser. And he has no idea just how much of a loser he is. For some time now, studies have shown us that porn and gaming can become compulsive and addicting. What we too often don't recognize, though, is why.

In a new book, The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It, psychologists Philip Zimbardo and Nikita Duncan say we may lose an entire generation of men to pornography and video gaming addictions. Their concern isn't about morality, but instead about the nature of these addictions in reshaping the patten of desires necessary for community.   Continue at Russell D. Moore

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

How Can I Compare to Women in Porn?

Distraught wife – I don’t watch porn, but I know my husband has viewed it from time to time. The little bit I have seen of these women makes me realize there is no way I can compare to or compete with them. What am I to do with these thoughts?
Even the television bombards my mind with their version of the perfect woman. I struggle with being insecure already, but it becomes worse when I think about how I’m in competition with women who are tens in every way.
Whenever my husband becomes angry with me, the thought goes through my mind that he will bolt for another woman if I don’t meet his needs. Even if he does not bolt, I know he satisfies himself with women who are in a league of their own. What am I to do?
In my view many Christian women are in a seemingly impossible situation. The external pressure from movies and television pumps their minds 24/7 about what is perfect. The dream weavers in the entertainment industry have all the tools to deliver titillating and tantalizing candy to the male ego.

Then there is the internal pressure: porn is a major and satisfying player in the male’s fantasy world. This is why the pursuer of porn women does not have to catch a real one. It’s all in his mind.

Fantasy is what makes porn so perfect for the depraved mind. All he has to do is look at the perfect woman through the Internet, while enjoying her with his mind. It’s not about being with her. It’s about thinking he is with her.   Continue at Rick Thomas

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Desecration and Titillation

Pornography is ubiquitous today; addiction to pornography, especially among men, is equally widespread. Young men are often introduced to pornography long before they are able to understand what it is and what it means. Many a young man's first awakening to sex and sexuality is by exposure to pornographic sex and nudity. This is sadly, increasingly, the case with women as well.

Some Christians can take a kind of refuge in the fact that so many others share in the struggle. "We are all in this together" can minimize the weight of it. Yet the ubiquity of porn and porn addiction does nothing to lessen the horror of it. I want to ask you a question. But not quite yet. Read on…

Desecration and Titillation

 

There is an inescapable consequence to the fact that human beings bear the image of God: there is nothing God values more than human beings. Bearing God's image is an extraordinary privilege and brings with it extraordinary worth. Jesus asked, "What does it profit a man if he gains the whole world but forfeits his soul?" If you were to accumulate the wealth of Bill Gates and add to it the wealth of Solomon, you would barely be scratching the surface of the value of a soul, of a person. Wealth will fade. It will rust and decay and be lost. People are eternal. When all of that wealth is gone, the soul will live on.

God says there is nothing in all creation he values more than human beings. And if this is true, there can be nothing more abhorrent to God than the desecration of human beings. There is nothing that displays greater spite toward God than destroying what he considers most significant. As man rejects being made in God's image, there necessarily follows a culture of death and desecration.    Continue at Tim Challies

Friday, May 10, 2013

John Piper – The Deepest Cure to Our Pitiful Addictions


How Then Does the Knowledge of the Supremacy of Christ (Opened to Us by the Gospel) Guide and Guard and Govern Our Sexual Lives?

How does it make our sexuality sacred, satisfying, and Christ-exalting? Of all the ways this works, I will mention only two.

First, knowing the supremacy of Christ enlarges the soul so that sex and its little thrills become as small as they really are. Little souls make little lusts have great power. The soul, as it were, expands to encompass the magnitude of its treasure. The human soul was made to see and savor the supremacy of Christ. Nothing else is big enough to enlarge the soul as God intended and make little lusts lose their power.

Vast starry skies seen from a mountain in Utah, and four layers of moving clouds on a seemingly endless plain in Montana, and standing on the edge of a mile-deep drop in the Grand Canyon can all have a wonderfully supplementary role in enlarging the soul with beauty. But nothing can take the place of the supremacy of Christ. As Jonathan Edwards said, if you embrace all creation with goodwill, but do not embrace Christ, you are infinitely narrow. Our hearts were made to be enlarged by Christ, and all creation cannot replace his supremacy.     Continue at CrossQuotes

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

The Socially Acceptable Sin

Most Christians today like to say that all sins are “equal” in the eyes of God, that there is no scale of less or worse sins, that a white lie or a homicide alike would have been enough to require Christ to die on the cross. We say this in theory, but in practice, we know that a white lie won’t get you kicked off the church leadership team. And a homicide likely will.

In practice, there are some sins that are socially acceptable, even in the Church. There’s one sin in particular that has pervaded our society and churches so silently we hardly give it a second thought, and that is the constant hunt for more over what is enough. Or, in an uglier terminology, what is known as gluttony.

When I think about gluttony, I think about my desire to shove a dozen donuts into my mouth and wash them down with chocolate milk. Or perhaps it’s my tendency to mindlessly feed chips to a stomach that’s no longer hungry. Many of us can look at the sin of gluttony and think, “That’s not really my struggle.” Or, we think, “What’s the big deal?” After all, most congregations have compulsive over-eaters among them, and they’re not considered “less spiritual” or “backslidden” for it.   Continue at Relevant Magazine

Thursday, February 21, 2013

How do you Counsel a Husband who has Revealed a Struggle with Pornography to His Wife?

Every pastor already faces this.  Unfortunately, I fear the problem will only become more common in the future; that is marriage counseling as a result of a husband’s struggle with pornogrpahy.  The work to restore trust and intimacy within a marriage deeply affected by this sinful struggle is only possible through the gospel and applied most effectively within the local church; having said that, consider six practical ways that husband can reestablish trust and intimacy with his hurting wife:

1)      Be patient towards your hurting wife.
Men are known to deal with something, then move on.  A wife, especially one sinned against by pornography will not move on so quickly.  A wife does not get past this offence in the same amount of time a husband often expects she should.  Encourage the husband to be patient with his wife as she tries to find forgiveness and reestablish trust.  By God’s grace it will happen—but in time.

2)      Understand the seriousness of your sin against her.
Sexual sin hurts a wife more deeply than most other sins against her.  A husband needs to realize that the reasons this sin stings so much is that it seems to confirm almost every doubt and insecurity most women already battle within themselves.  Understanding the seriousness of this sin and the pain it causes will help cultivate patience and prevent a reoccurrence of it.    Continue at Practical Shepherding

Saturday, February 2, 2013

From Prison to the Pulpit: A Stunning Story of God's Grace

Every Christian has an "impressive" testimony. There aren't Varsity and JV versions, because there aren't Varsity and JV sinners. "Dead in our trespasses and sins" (Eph. 2:1-3) described all of us before God butted in (Eph. 2:4).

But while all testimonies are miraculous, some are unusually gripping and encouraging. Mez McConnell has one of those stories.

Once an abused, addicted, homeless, Christian-despising criminal, Mez now serves as senior pastor of Niddrie Community Church in Edinburgh, Scotland, and founder of 20 Schemes, a ministry dedicated to building gospel-centered churches for Scotland's poorest communities ("schemes"). Here's their vision:
Our long-term desire is to see Scotland's housing schemes transformed by the good news of Jesus Christ through the planting of gospel-preaching churches, ultimately led by a future generation of indigenous church leaders. . . . We believe building healthy, gospel-preaching churches in Scotland's poorest communities will bring true, sustainable, and long-term renewal to Scotland's schemes.   Continue at Matt Smethurst

Friday, January 11, 2013

Men Like to Look At Naked Girls On The Internet. Here’s Why They Should Stop That.

I had a bit of a personal crisis when I saw this link from The Huffington Post titled, “Research Suggests that All Men Watch Pornography.” My first thought was that they could not have possibly talked to all men. I know this, because I do not watch pornography. This made me suspicious that the link was tied to a pornographic Web site designed to trick me, the last man standing, into accidentally seeing pornography in order to validate their research. (Or, more disturbingly, it could be that I am not actually a man because I do not watch pornography.)

Do not mistake my assertion for some kind of moral high ground. I have seen pornographic images before, and my mind is fairly full of sexual imagery that I have stored from various fantasies; I don’t really need pornography to qualify as a pervert. I do not think that this makes me abnormal, as the sexual drive is a gift from God. It’s just that I believe pursuing pornographic fantasy is like driving a car at high speed down the wrong lane.

I discovered that the title of the article was a bit misleading, as it suggests that all men currently watch porn. In fact, the research documented that they could not find any man who hadn’t seen it before. And that I can believe. It is possible that there is not a man in the United States over the age of 20 who has never seen pornography.    Continue at Brad Williams

 

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Why is Porn Addictive?



Porn is addictive for the same reason that many drugs are addictive. Neuroscientist Dr. William Struthers explains how the brain reacts to viewing pornography repeatedly:

As men fall deeper into the mental habit of fixating on these images, the exposure to them creates neural pathways. Like a path is created in the woods with each successive hiker, so do the neural paths set the course for the next time an erotic image is viewed. Over time these neural paths become wider as they are repeatedly traveled with each exposure to pornography. They become the automatic pathway through which interactions with women are routed. The neural circuitry anchors this process solidly in the brain. With each lingering stare, pornography deepens the Grand Canyon-like gorge in the brain through with images of women are destined to flow. (Wired for Intimacy, p.85)

In my interview with Dr. Struthers, he explained what hormones and neurotransmitters are involved in porn addiction

Testosterone

This is a gonadal hormone (produced in the testis) involved in many processes in the body. One of them is the male sexual drive. Testosterone drives a man’s interest in sex. Mentally fantasizing triggers a reflexive response in the body to release testosterone, and the more one does this, the “wave” of testosterone continues to build. Men experience this as an intense and growing desire for sexual release.

This wave of testosterone will occur if a man is thinking about or interacting with his wife, but it also happens when a man is staring at other women or a pornographic image.  Continue at Covenant Eyes

Friday, May 25, 2012

'The Demise of Guys': How Video Games and Porn are Ruining a Generation

Editor's note: Psychologist Dr. Philip Zimbardo is a professor emeritus at Stanford University and is world-renowned for his 1971 research, the Stanford Prison Experiment. Zimbardo teamed up with artist and psychologist Nikita Duncan to write "The Demise of Guys: Why Boys Are Struggling and What We Can Do About It," released Wednesday by TED Books.

(CNN) -- Is the overuse of video games and pervasiveness of online porn causing the demise of guys?

Increasingly, researchers say yes, as young men become hooked on arousal, sacrificing their schoolwork and relationships in the pursuit of getting a tech-based buzz.

Every compulsive gambler, alcoholic or drug addict will tell you that they want increasingly more of a game or drink or drug in order to get the same quality of buzz.

Video game and porn addictions are different. They are "arousal addictions," where the attraction is in the novelty, the variety or the surprise factor of the content. Sameness is soon habituated; newness heightens excitement. In traditional drug arousal, conversely, addicts want more of the same cocaine or heroin or favorite food.

The consequences could be dramatic: The excessive use of video games and online porn in pursuit of the next thing is creating a generation of risk-averse guys who are unable (and unwilling) to navigate the complexities and risks inherent to real-life relationships, school and employment.

Stories about this degeneration are rampant: In 2005, Seungseob Lee, a South Korean man, went into cardiac arrest after playing "StarCraft" for nearly 50 continuous hours. In 2009, MTV's "True Life" highlighted the story of a man named Adam whose wife kicked him out of their home -- they have four kids together -- because he couldn't stop watching porn.   Continue at CNN

Wednesday, April 11, 2012

A Call to Suffocate Pornography

During both World Wars, the U.S. government supplied tobacco to our troops. By 1964, 46 percent of adults in this nation smoked—including inside public buildings, during commercial flights, and on televised advertisements. That year, with the help of Surgeon General Luther L. Terry’s book, Smoking and Health, the winds of change began to blow in fresher air.

In 1965 Congress required manufacturers to post health warnings on cigarette packs. In 1969 Congress outlawed tobacco advertising on television and radio. In 1989 smoking was banned on all domestic flights. In 2000 California banned smoking in public places, including bars and restaurants. Twenty-six states have since followed suit, including Minnesota which established an indoor smoking ban in 2007.

Today less than 20 percent of adults in the U.S. smoke. Over the last half century, scientific research, governmental regulation, and public information campaigns have combined to alter our society’s perspective on smoking. While tobacco usage remains legal, what once was widely regarded as a harmless pleasure is now deemed an addictive health hazard.

The Witherspoon Institute

 

The Witherspoon Institute (TWI) recently proclaimed that what the U.S. has done with tobacco must now be done with Internet pornography. TWI first met in December 2008 at Princeton, NJ. Its participants published The Social Costs of Pornography: A Statement of Findings and Recommendations, a brief summary of The Social Costs of Pornography: A Collection of Papers, edited by James R. Stoner, Jr., and Donna M. Hughes. It is vital to note that the signatories represent “every major shade of religious belief … from atheism and agnosticism to Christianity, Judaism, and Islam. Both the left and the right in American politics are represented, including social conservatism and contemporary feminism.” The signatories also supply a wide range of professional expertise in “economics, medicine, psychiatry, psychology, philosophy, sociality, journalism, and law” (p. 10).  Continue at Dan Miller

Monday, April 9, 2012

How Can I Stop Using my Phone ALL the Time?

Adam Dachis asks: “How can I stop using my phone all the time and actually connect with people in the real world?”

I think many of us can identify with this question. If it’s not a problem for us, it probably is for our kids. If it is a problem for us, our bad example will soon make it a problem for our kids.

Apparently the most common accident for an iPhone is for men to drop it down the toilet! Which says a lot!!

This can be a real addiction. Scientists have detected that every time an email arrives, or we get an RT, or a Facebook like, our bodies inject a tiny squirt of pleasure chemical (it’s like a mini crack-cocaine hit). So every buzz or beep notification creates a craving in our bodies for the squirt-hit.

How to break the addiction? Adam’s strategies include:  Continue at David Murray

Friday, July 8, 2011

Jesus and Addiction: Is He Really Enough?

Growing up in the church is probably exactly like growing up in a five-story mansion on the side of a snow-laden mountain overlooking a rainbow valley where you daily see flocks of unicorns grazing: it’s a beautiful thing, but you run the risk of over-exposure.  For a while you appreciate it, then one day you wake up finding yourself unable to be moved by what’s before you.  Even though my official “rebellion years” ended when I got to college, since then I’ve continued to run the risk of being overly exposed (and therefore hardened) by the beautiful truths that are constantly before me.  Thanks be to God though, because I’m slowly relearning the beautiful truths behind Bible verses and Christian jargon that for a long time had been cold to my soul.  In that relearning process though, I’ve found myself particularly cautious about Christian phrases that get thrown around as often as the plot to Zookeeper.  This entry is about one such phrase:

“Christ is Enough”

This phrase (or the trinitarianly-appropriate equivalent “God is enough”) was my banner for a long time through college.  Chris Tomlin’s ”More than Enough” was my theme song.  I started reading books like John Piper’s Desiring God and Brother Lawrence’s The Practice of the Presence of God to fuel my growing conviction that finding everything I needed in Jesus would increase my joy and destroy my sin addictions.  It wasn’t quite that simple though. Keep Reading...

Friday, March 4, 2011

I’m Addicted

I’m addicted to the gospel. It burns inside of me. And it seems to get hotter ever day. I can’t stop thinking about it, talking about it, writing about it, reading about it, wrestling with it, reveling in it, standing on it, and thanking God for it. For better or for worse, my focus has become myopic. My passion has become singular. Lesser things don’t distract me as easily. I’m not as anxious as I used to be. I don’t fret over things as much. I’m more relaxed. What others think of me (either good or bad) doesn’t matter as much as it used to. I’m enjoying life more. The pressure’s off. I actually think I’m beginning to understand the length and breadth of the freedom Jesus purchased for me.

Jesus plus nothing equals everything–the gospel– is daily becoming for me more than a theological passion, more than a cognitive reality. It’s becoming my functional lifeline! And it’s this rediscovery of the gospel’s power that is enabling me to see that, Keep Reading>>>

Monday, January 17, 2011

Spiritual Healing in the Midst of a Husband's Addiction to Pornography

A short time ago, while posting a poem titled “I Looked for Love in Your Eyes,” I lamented that while there are many, many books written to help men overcome an addiction to pornography, there is very little written to help the women who have been victims of a husband’s addiction. Shortly after I received an email from Vicki Tiede who has written just such a title. Her book, titled Mosaic Heart: Spiritual Healing in the Midst of a Husband’s Addiction to Pornography (working title - this will likely change) will be published by New Growth Press, probably about a year from now.

I asked Vicki if, in the meanwhile, she’d be willing to do an interview to offer some words of help to women who are struggling with the effects of their husband’s sin. She was kind enough to do so. Here is what I asked her:

What is the scope of this problem? How many women are struggling with the effects of a husband’s addiction to pornography?

 

Read the rest HERE

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Are We Too Obsessed With Facebook? [INFOGRAPHIC] Jolie O'Dell

Facebook profiles are like belly buttons: Everybody’s got one.


Perhaps that statement’s still a bit of an exaggeration, but by the numbers, we (that is, Internet users around the globe) are becoming more obsessed with Facebook by the day. 

One out of every 13 Earthlings and three out of four Americans is on Facebook, and one out of 26 signs into Facebook on a daily basis.

We could rattle off stats like that until the cows come home, but instead, we’d like to show you this fascinating infographic from SocialHype and OnlineSchools.org.

Here, in a visual nutshell, are some highlights about Facebook usage, 2010 trends, adoption numbers and a great deal more.

Take a good look at this information (or click here for the full-size version), and in the comments, let us know what you think about our global fascination with Facebook. Is Facebook an amazing connective medium? A plague that preys on the easily addicted? A little bit of both, or something else entirely?


Wednesday, February 3, 2010

What Drives Porn Addiction: A Conversation in Biblical Counseling

Porn for a man is not primarily about the physical attributes of a woman. Pornography is primarily about the “theater of the mind,” when a guy creates a storyline where adoring, fawning women pursue him. It is a way in which an insecure person can create a private, self-centered drama that focuses exclusively on his desire to be stimulated physically, mentally, and emotionally.

There has never been a time in our culture where men can so easily escape the disappointments and frustrations of life. Covenant Eyes is doing a remarkable job caring for members of the Christian community, who are tempted by Internet porn. You can have your computer monitored and a report sent to a trusted friend. This is a safe and intelligent way to provide accountability for those who enjoy watching pornography. Read and Listen HERE