7 Ways Social Media Makes Pastoring More Difficult

Facebook can be very helpful to pastors. It helps us to know how to pray. It is a great avenue for communicating your message, making announcements, establishing connections, helping people to laugh, and a host of other things.

It’s also a headache.

Here are 7 ways that Facebook makes pastoring a little more difficult:

1. Expectations. Your beloved Aunt Gertrude just died. You post of your sadness on Facebook. And only Facebook. Your Pastor doesn’t call. He doesn’t send flowers. He doesn’t respond to your status update. Nothing. What a jerk!!!  Or, is it possible that he simply isn’t on Facebook all the time? Maybe he didn’t see it. Social media has upped the expectations for pastoral response.
2. Faux problems. People vent about really silly things on Facebook. And they often do it in language that requires a Rosetta Stone program to decipher. All you really know is that person X is fed up with people Y and that they need to mind their own business. So, when a pastor is scrolling through his news feed and sees these little spats what is he to do? Does he call and make sure everything is okay—only to find out that the status was really about the pain of getting onions on your McRib when you clearly said “no onions”?   Continue at Julian Freeman

Stop Using Facebook To Send A Message to People That You Won't Confront

Christians who use Facebook to complain about people instead of confronting according to Matthew 18:15-35 are in error. Passive-aggresiveness is their forte. I see it all the time. Veiled complaints and accusations against people. General complaints about the church and being hurt and people treating you wrong and sinning against you. Yet, you do not speak directly to the people who hurt you. You just lash out at everyone and throw a blanket of blame, victimhood, and condemnation among everyone who scrolls down their newsfeed. We might pray for you or we might just move on and look for cute kitten pictures. Either way, your hurt/pain did not receive the attention and dignity and chance for healing that it deserved. You cheapened yourself and the rest of us along with you.

 

This is how it works: Someone who is obviously hurt makes some kind of general remark accusing or complaining about someone or some situation. It is obvious that they are talking about something specific, but no one knows what, exactly. There is no possibility for peace or reconciliation or for anyone to try and make things right. People reading the post wonder who is being talked about and some wonder if, perhaps, they are the ones being targeted. Speculation abounds. But, nothing can be said because to assume that the post is about you is considered vain and self-centered (Carly Simon would agree). To wonder who it is about if you know it could not be about you might fall into vain imaginings or gossip-induced speculation. Unless you are close to the person, you cannot ask. If you do, they will often say that they are just speaking generally or that they do not want to say because they don't want to say someone's name. But, they are hurt and they don't want to deal with it biblically. So, they let the world know and no one can do a thing about it. Every once in a while, someone will confront the person on Facebook for this, but that is an awkward enterprise, to be sure, and one rife with pitfalls.   Continue at Downshore Drift

Pastors and Social Media (2): Be Intentional

Yesterday I posted the first part of my address to the URC Pastor’s Conference on “Blogs, Facebook, and the Flock: What is the relationship between social media and the local pastorate?” Part 1: Be Positive. This is Part 2: Be Intentional. 

Ligonier’s social media guru, Nathan Bingham, says that the most important question we must ask ourselves with social media is “Why?” (see The Best Social Media Tip I can Give You)

Why do I want to do social media? What’s my motive and aim? Is it for myself? is it for the church? Is it for unbelievers? Is it to evangelize unbelievers? Is it to disciple my flock? Is it to draw attention to resources? Is it to serve the wider Christian community?

Once you answer the “Why?” question it becomes a lot easier to answer other questions like:    Continue at David Murray

See also: 10 Things Pastor Should "Get" About Social Media

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Not Laughing Now

by Phil Johnson

Rodney Howard-Browne, self-styled “Holy Ghost Bartender,” has taken notice of the Strange Fire conference sponsored by Grace to You (October 16-18, 2013). He seems unnerved by the prospect that twenty-first-century charismatic phenomena are going to be examined in light of Scripture. Howard-Browne’s trademark giddiness has gone missing. Recently, he wrote this stream-of-consciousness rant on his Facebook page:

There is coming a massive attack on the Pentecostal/Charismatic movement by a group of individuals that don’t believe in the power of the Holy Spirit today - these men do not believe in speaking in tongues or the gifts of the spirit - they think that because of excesses in the church that they have a right to write off the fastest growing sector of Christianity - over 800 million in the earth today - that would be as bad as writing Jesus off because of one of the 12 was Judas Iscariot - if these individuals just adopted Gamaliel’s advice of Acts 5:38-39 that would be fine however they have no fear of God and are in grave danger of blaspheming the Holy Ghost - they think that because the movement has had scandals that have been publicised that this gives them leeway to do what they are doing - however the only reason why it gets the attention is because these individuals are on TV - everywhere I travel I hear of scandals outside of the Pentecostal charismatic realm but these are never publicised because no one knows them - they are calling their exposé strange fire however you better have the alternative if you are going to criticise something as counterfeit you have to produce the real - or else you had better shut up! The only ones who have the right to bring correction are the ones inside the camp not outside!

All the standard charismatic arguments are summarized there:    Continue at Phil Johnson

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The Mirror of Facebook

I did something recently that was useful, stereotypically middle-aged, and surprisingly emotional; I went back and read through what I have written on social media over the last couple of years; Facebook, Twitter, and Blogs.  And my conclusion? I suck.  

No, seriously. Try as I might, I’ve used the tool of social media to sin against God and against my neighbor.  I’ve taken shots at thinly veiled “opponents”, I’ve questioned motives, and I’ve used it to feed my ever-hungry ego.  And I’m guessing you have too.

No, not everything I do on social media is so blatantly (and intentionally) negative. In fact, most of it is meant positively. I use this blog and social media as a platform to proclaim the gospel. I use social media as a way to keep in touch and share pictures with friends and family around the world.  But scripture teaches me that as a fallen man, even my “good” works are to be repented of as they are so obviously (as we’ll see below) tainted with sin.

With that, I’d like to take a few minutes this week to talk about how understanding the “Three Uses of the Law” allows us to use social media in a powerful, powerful way.

In short, there are three uses of the law: As a Curb, as a Mirror, and as a Guide.

Let me explain with the following, excellent, summary from Pastor Mark Schroeder:    Continue at Marc5solas

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A Pastor’s Reflections: Social Media and Your Congregation

I feel like a dinosaur because I can remember when the internet was really lame and when e-mail was a novelty. When I was a child I actually used 8-track tapes. If you don’t know what that is, Google it! Anyway, one of the things that has come about with the internet is social media, things like Twitter and the Facebooks (yes, I know that it’s really called Facebook). It used to be that people talked with their friends on the phone and kept their deepest darkest thoughts in their journal in their nightstand. Now, people Tweet and post all sorts of things to Facebook. Personally, I have no interest in such things. Why would anyone care whether I just hit Starbucks and had a half-calf-decaf-mocah-choca-ya-ya? But just because I personally don’t care about or have interest in social media doesn’t mean that I’m totally ignorant about social media or that it has no use for the pastorate.

For reasons that still bewilder me, some people don’t seem to realize that the interweb is called the world wide web for a good reason—anyone can read what you post or tweet, unless you keep things password protected or private through your settings, though Facebook can take your pictures and use them if they want (don’t get me started on that one). People post all sorts of things on-line that, to be frank, makes me question their wisdom. How does all of this bear upon the pastor and his congregation, you ask?   Continua at Valiant for Truth

See Also:  Facebook friends and sin

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Lust Battles, Facebook Fasts, Twitter Goals, and “Humble Brags”

Over the last two weeks on the Ask Pastor John podcast we talked a lot about social media, about goals for Twitter and fasting from Facebook. Pastor John also addressed creativity in communication, and the meaning and importance of Easter. We talked about the value of Bible commentaries written by women, a practical suggestion for battling lust, and how our works exceed the works of Jesus.

What follows is a list of episodes, along with quotes pulled from each recording. Click on the titles to listen.

How Jesus’s Glory Drives Creative Communication (Episode 54):

Jesus really is striking. Jesus really is amazing. Jesus really is worthy of the most wonderful — or the most surprising — ways of describing him truly. And the Holy Spirit regularly honors that effort by opening the eyes of the blind to see a truly-described Jesus.

How Do I Know If I Love the Gifts More Than the Giver? (Episode 55):

We are sinners, which means we are spring-loaded to turn gifts into alternatives to God. And so what does God do? In this age between our fall and our perfection at the second coming, he uses pleasure and pain to provide us with revelations of his goodness and to protect us from loving substitutes.

Do You Use Bible Commentaries Written by Women? (Episode 56):

The reason for saying, “I don’t permit a woman to teach or have authority over men” (1 Timothy 2:12), is not because she’s incompetent. It is not because she can’t have thoughts. In fact, the women in our church, and the woman you are married to, have many thoughts that you would do well to note and learn and learn from. And so the issue there is not she doesn’t have thoughts, the issue is how manhood and womanhood works.    Continue at Tony Reinke

Pastor, How are you on Facebook so Much?

I’ve posted a similar answer to this before but in my new role some are asking the question again: Pastor, how are you on Facebook so much?

I honestly think the real question is “Why?” and some think it means I don’t work very much, but if only they knew.

Perhaps, if you follow me online, you wonder the same thing. So, let me try to help you understand.

First things first, I’m probably not on as much as you think I am. If you think so, then the strategy is working. I’ve been doing online ministry since 1996. That’s a long time. I started with a daily devotional that quickly turned into a ministry opportunity. Though they are mostly recycled now, that site is still active. (www.mustardseedministry.com) I learned that if I was going to do ministry with the potentials to reach tens of thousands (the Internet makes the world small), I had to be smart about it.

So, I work smart.

Here are four words to describe my Internet strategy.

Since I’m a pastor, and you’d want me to be pastoral, they all begin with the same letter. 

Value – I recognize the value of being online. For the past several years, Facebook has been the most prominent way people reach me in my church. It also gives them a sense that they know me. I hear people every week say they feel they can follow me throughout the week, just by reading my status updates. In addition, I have the opportunity to minister to even a larger group, including hundreds of pastors and leaders around the country.   Continue at Ron Edmondson

Facebook Makes Us Miserable

Just about everyone has joined Facebook. And just about everyone has since considered giving it up. There are all kinds of studies today telling us how much time Facebook is sucking—700 billion minutes between the lot of us every month. That’s a lot of time. But when you divide it 500 million ways it doesn’t seem quite so bad. That’s not why most of us have considered giving it up. 

There are studies telling us how Facebook is invading our privacy and selling our personal details to advertisers. That’s annoying, but not reason enough to quit.

The reason so many of us have considered giving up on Facebook is that it makes us miserable. A recent paper in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin looks at a series of studies involving how people evaluate moods—their own and those of others. The study itself is not as interesting as the implications. What the study found is that people tend to underestimate how dejected other people feel and that this in turn increases a person’s own sense of unhappiness. Put otherwise, we all believe that others have better lives than we do and this makes us feel bad about ourselves. That’s strangely significant.  Continue at Tim Challies

When Does Sports Become Idolatry?

Evidently, there was a little football game last night. One overpaid, under-educated team defeated another overpaid, under-educated team for a mythical national championship. (Sorry, still bitter about the two most evil forces in college sports playing in the BCS game).  Twitter was atwitter and Facebook was booked solid with comments about the game – mostly the effusions of glee and self-adulation from Bama and SEC fans (sorry, another uncontrollable shot, undermining the point I want to make).

 

Americans love their sports. Athletes get paid extraordinary amounts of money because of our love-affair with sports. We pay hundreds of dollars for tickets to go to games, pay $75 for a $12 t-shirt with our team’s logo on it, rant about referees, and fill social media with our praise or curses concerning our teams’ play.

I am a sports fan. There is a certain 27-time World Series champion team from the Bronx that I like a little bit. My Durango has one sticker on it, a 2009 Yankees championship window sticker. Don’t know how long I will have to wait to add another. My office at the church has a Yankee mouse pad, a Yankee light switch cover, various Yankee paraphernalia and wall hangings, and a shelf full of books about Yankees from the past. I’m a fan.

That leads me to ask a question.    Continue at Dave Miller

THE PORN GATEWAYS

As I began to reflect on the multitude of struggles amongst my Christians peers, lust and pornography were the biggest problems that they wrestled with on a consistent basis. At first I did not understand how this possibly could be such a difficult struggle, “If they don’t go on the websites there won’t be a problem,” is what I thought. Yet time and time again as I received the late night phone call of a friend that had recently fallen into pornography, I knew that their battle against pornography and lust was taking a turn for the worst. While taking a deeper look into the heart of the sin, I noticed that people were battling their sins (of pornography and lust) at a shallow surface level, and deep at the root of the problem were “innocent” gateways sins that were feeding into their daily struggles.

WHAT IS A GATEWAY SIN?

 

The term gateway sin was adopted from a popular word that I once heard in health class called “gateway drug.” A gateway drug is defined as “a habit-forming drug, that is not addictive, but its use may lead to the use of other addictive drugs.” Alcohol and Marijuana are both labeled as gateway drugs because usage of those drugs lead its users into the abuse of other heavier addictive drugs such as cocaine, heroin, and etc. Therefore a gateway sin can be defined as “an unhealthy habit that at first seems innocent, but its continuation may lead to the indulgence of other sins.”

FACEBOOK, SOCIAL MEDIA, AND THE GATEWAY  

             

As I scrolled down the news feed on my Facebook homepage, I noticed that many of my friends, who happened to struggle with pornography, were “liking” the pictures of different girls on Facebook. Also I noticed that these guys were posting comments on multiple pictures within these girls photo albums. At first I thought this wasn’t a problem, it was only Facebook. But one day while I was hanging out with one of my friends, I saw him spending fifteen minutes going through an entire photo album of one of his female classmates from school. His face was intensely glued to the computer screen as if he were reading a suicide note, and as I started analyzing the situation I began to realize that things were beginning to add up.   Continue at Urban Gospel

The Facebook Fallacy

For all its valuation, the social network is just another ad-supported site. Without an earth-changing idea, it will collapse and take down the Web.

Facebook not only is on course to go bust but will take the rest of the ad-supported Web with it. 

Given its vast cash reserves and the glacial pace of business reckonings, this assertion will sound exaggerated. But that doesn't mean it isn't true. 

At the heart of the Internet business is one of the great business fallacies of our time: that the Web, with all its targeting abilities, can be a more efficient, and hence more profitable, advertising medium than traditional media. Facebook, with its 900 million users, its valuation of around $60 billion (as of early June), and a business derived primarily from fairly traditional online advertising, is now at the heart of the heart of this fallacy.

The daily and stubborn reality for everybody building businesses on the strength of Web advertising is that the value of digital ads decreases every quarter, a consequence of their simultaneous ineffectiveness and efficiency. The nature of people's behavior on the Web and of how they interact with advertising, as well as the character of those ads themselves and their inability to command attention, has meant a marked decline in advertising's impact.  

At the same time, network technology allows advertisers to more precisely locate and assemble audiences outside of branded channels. Instead of having to go to CNN for your audience, a generic CNN-like audience can be assembled outside CNN's walls and without the CNN-brand markup. This has resulted in the now famous and cruelly accurate formulation that $10 of offline advertising becomes $1 online. 

I don't know anyone in the ad-­supported Web business who isn't engaged in a relentless, demoralizing, no-exit operation to realign costs with falling per-user revenues, or who isn't manically inflating traffic to compensate for ever-lower per-user value.  Continue at Michael Wolff

Does Facebook Wreck Marriages?

Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg changed his status to “married” Saturday and received over one million “likes” from his followers. But the site he founded isn’t always so marriage-friendly.  In fact, lawyers say the social network contributes to an increasing number of marriage breakups.

More than a third of divorce filings last year contained the word Facebook, according to a U.K. survey by Divorce Online, a  legal services firm. And over 80% of U.S. divorce attorneys say they’ve seen a rise in the number of cases using social networking, according to the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers. “I see Facebook issues breaking up marriages all the time,” says Gary Traystman, a divorce attorney in New London, Conn. Of the 15 cases he handles per year where computer history, texts and emails are admitted as evidence, 60% exclusively involve Facebook.

“Affairs happen with a lightning speed on Facebook,” says K. Jason Krafsky, who authored the book “Facebook and Your Marriage” with his wife Kelli. In the real world, he says, office romances and out-of-town trysts can take months or even years to develop. “On Facebook,” he says, “they happen in just a few clicks.” The social network is different from most social networks or dating sites in that it both re-connects old flames and allows people to “friend” someone they may only met once in passing. “It puts temptation in the path of people who would never in a million years risk having an affair,” he says. Facebook declined to comment.   Continue at  Quentin Fottrell

Would Jesus Have a Facebook Page?

“When [Jesus] came down from the mountain, great crowds followed him. And behold, a leper came to him and knelt before him, saying, ‘Lord, if you will, you can make me clean.’ And Jesus stretched out his hand and touched him, saying, ‘I will; be clean.’ And immediately his leprosy was cleansed.”

A recent article in USA Today by Cathy Lynn Grossman cites examples of the growing tendency in churches to treat the Internet as a genuine ministry-provider. It’s not just about having websites and email contacts, but about assuming that digital contact is actual ministry. [Cathy Lynn Grossman, "Church Outreach Takes on a New Technical Touch," Wednesday, April 18, 2012.] According to the report, for example, the Billy Graham Evangelistic Association offers a page for visitors to sign on the sinner’s prayer and “turn up in a real-time scroll of latest ‘decisions’ at www.SearchforJesus.net…” Grossman writes, “Technology should ultimately be an enhancement, not a replacement, for gathering in person for worship, discussion, debate and service to others, Drew Goodmanson says. Goodmanson is chief executive officer of Monk Development, which helps churches use the Internet to fulfill their missions. He appreciates that ‘you can have a digital Bible in the palm of your hand or connect with others in prayer any time anywhere.’ Nevertheless, Goodmanson says, ‘Jesus would not have a Facebook page. He wouldn’t be stopping in an Internet café to update his status.’” Thank God.

Responding to the USA Today article, Al Mohler helpfully points out some of the costs and benefits. It’s a great benefit that we can read lots of content on-line to which he had limited access before. Yet, he observes, “A digital preacher will not preach your funeral. The deep limitations of digital technologies become evident where the church is most needed. Don’t allow the Internet to become your congregation. YouTube is a horrible place to go to church.”   Continue at Michael Horton

So You Want to Date My Daughter?

1. You must love Jesus. I don't care if you're a "good Christian boy." I was one of those too. So I know the tricks. I'm going to ask you specific, heart-testing questions about your spiritual affections, your daily devotional life, your idols, your disciplines, and the like. I'll cut you a little bit of slack because you're young and hormonal and your pre-frontal lobe isn't fully developed yet, but I'll be watching you like a hawk. I know you. I was you. You will think you can fool me, and you likely have fooled many other dads who didn't pay much attention to their daughters' suitors, but I will be on you like Bourne on that guy whose neck he broke. Which guy was that? Every guy. So love Jesus more than my daughter or go home.

2. You will install X3Watch or Covenant Eyes on your computer and mobile devices and have your regular reports sent to me.

3. I will talk to your dad and tell him I will hold him responsible if you don't treat my daughter like a lady. If he thinks I'm a crazy person, you fail the test and won't get to date her. If he understands what I'm saying, that bodes well for you.

4. You will pay for everything. Oh, sure, every now and then my daughter can buy you a Coke or something and a gift on your birthday and at Christmas. But you pay for meals, movies, outings, whatever else. Don't have a job? I'm sorry, why I am talking to you again?

5. You will accept my Facebook friend request.

6. If it looks like you need a belt to hold your pants up, I will assume you don't have a job. See #4.

7. Young people dating are putting their best face forward, so if you appear impatient, ill-tempered, or ill-mannered, I know you will gradually become more so over time. I will have no jerks dating my daughters.

8. If I am not your pastor, I will talk to the man who is. If your pastor is a woman, why I am talking to you, again?

9. You don't love my daughter. You have no idea what love is. You like her and you might love her someday. That's an okay start with me, so put the seatbelt on the mushy gushy stuff. Don't profess your undying love, quote stupid love song lyrics to her, tell her you'd die for her, or feed her any other boneheaded lines that are way out of your depth as a horny little idiot. A lady's heart is a fragile thing. If you play with hers, I will show you yours.  Continue at The Thinklings

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If Facebook Tempts You

With the news from Wall Street that Facebook is going public, we can be confident the social media giant aims to stay around for a while. And why shouldn't it? With more than 845,000,000 monthly users, the company has become deeply ingrained the public's psyche. Whether your preference is Facebook or Twitter or one of the hundreds of other services, social networking is firmly rooted as the new way to "do community." The ability to connect or reconnect with these networks offers innumerable benefits and privileges we simply did not have before. We are, however, becoming increasingly aware of the limitations of virtual community and the problems associated with our being so connected.

The Drain

Talk with enough folks who regularly use Facebook or Twitter and you'll soon recognize a pattern. Mental drain accompanies comparing your life with all of your friends and acquaintances. Recently, Christian hip-hop artist Shai Linne tweeted he had quit following another Christian hip-hop artist on Twitter. The reason was not a doctrinal disagreement or failed friendship. Linne quit following this other artist---whom he greatly respects and admires---because he had noticed a sense of envy creep up after reading the tweets confirming the other's success. Linne later explained in a video where the issue was discussed in detail, that he took this practical step to guard his heart.

An "out of sight, out of mind" approach worked for Linne. Could that work for you? Are we as quick to act, surgically removing sin or the temptation of sin associated with our use of social media? Furthermore, if we as adults are struggling with the sin of jealousy, envy, or covetousness, what is the use of social media doing to our kids?  Continue at Jason Allen

Facebook Makes Us Miserable

Just about everyone has joined Facebook. And just about everyone has since considered giving it up. There are all kinds of studies today telling us how much time Facebook is sucking—700 billion minutes between the lot of us every month. That’s a lot of time. But when you divide it 500 million ways it doesn’t seem quite so bad. That’s not why most of us have considered giving it up. There are studies telling us how Facebook is invading our privacy and selling our personal details to advertisers. That’s annoying, but not reason enough to quit.

The reason so many of us have considered giving up on Facebook is that it makes us miserable. A recent paper in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin looks at a series of studies involving how people evaluate moods—their own and those of others. The study itself is not as interesting as the implications. What the study found is that people tend to underestimate how dejected other people feel and that this in turn increases a person’s own sense of unhappiness. Put otherwise, we all believe that others have better lives than we do and this makes us feel bad about ourselves. That’s strangely significant. Keep Reading>>>

Why Facebook (and Your Church) Might Be Making You Sad

We’ve been warned that social media can distract us, shorten our attention spans, disconnect us from real-life relationships. Now a new study suggests that Facebook might also be making us miserable. I suspect there’s something to this, and it’s not just about Facebook. It’s about our churches.

Slate magazine cites a paper in a social psychology journal that started with an observation about how college students felt more dejected after logging on to Facebook. There was something saddening about “scrolling through others’ attractive photos, accomplished bios, and chipper status updates.” The students’ moods were darkened because they believed everyone else was happier than they are. Keep Reading>>>

Are We Too Obsessed With Facebook? [INFOGRAPHIC] Jolie O'Dell

Facebook profiles are like belly buttons: Everybody’s got one.

Perhaps that statement’s still a bit of an exaggeration, but by the numbers, we (that is, Internet users around the globe) are becoming more obsessed with Facebook by the day. 

One out of every 13 Earthlings and three out of four Americans is on Facebook, and one out of 26 signs into Facebook on a daily basis.

We could rattle off stats like that until the cows come home, but instead, we’d like to show you this fascinating infographic from SocialHype and OnlineSchools.org.

Here, in a visual nutshell, are some highlights about Facebook usage, 2010 trends, adoption numbers and a great deal more.

Take a good look at this information (or click here for the full-size version), and in the comments, let us know what you think about our global fascination with Facebook. Is Facebook an amazing connective medium? A plague that preys on the easily addicted? A little bit of both, or something else entirely?

Via: Online Schools

HT: Tim Challies

A. S. Byatt on Facebook, the New God of Our Age