Last week I spoke to Bob Kellemen about the difficult subject of spiritual abuse.
We worked toward a definition of the term and looked also at what
shouldn’t rightly be classified as abuse. I had more questions and Bob
was kind enough to answer them (and, in my opinion, to answer well).
Here’s the rest of our discussion. I hope this helps people who are
suffering spiritual abuse or who are wondering if that is what’s going
on at their local church.
TC: How
are we to react to genuine spiritual abuse? Is this a time to begin a
web site to expose abuse? Is this the time to leave a church?
BK: I
want to address that question in a two-fold way: how do we respond to
spiritual abuse internally—in our own hearts, and how do we respond to
spiritual abuse “externally”—in our relationship to the person hurting
us, in relationship to the church, and in relationship to the wider
Christian community.
Internally, I always encourage
the person who is experiencing spiritual abuse to step back and seek the
help of a trusted, objective third party. We discussed in our first
post the fact that the term “spiritual abuse” can be misused or
misapplied so we don’t have to respond to loving confrontation from a
spiritual authority. As a counselor, I try to raise this possibility to
the person in a loving, kind, supportive way. The last thing they need
is to sense that the “victim is being victimized.” Still, it’s vital to
have someone help you to assess what is actually occurring. Keep Reading...
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