Lies Women Believe while Wedding Planning

Being a bride-to-be can be an incredibly sweet and exciting time. It can also be a quite challenging time, filled with temptations and anxieties that are uncharted in a woman’s life until the sparkling engagement ring slides on her finger. Wedding planning can turn even the most laid-back girl into a stressed filled bride-zilla. Praise God that even then, we can find the truth of his word to be a very present help in time of need, silencing the lies that our flesh, the enemy and the self-obsessed wedding industry entice us to believe.

Lie #1: This is my day.

 
False. Though this day will and should bring much joy, scripture makes clear that marriage is God’s doing and that he has created it in order that the covenant love of Christ for his bride, the Church, might be put on display. In the first “wedding” of all time, Genesis 2:22 explains that after causing a deep sleep to come over Adam, God creates Eve out of one of his ribs and brings her to him. Also in Mark 10:8-9, while referring back to this scene in Genesis, Jesus explains that, “’The two shall become one flesh.’ So they are no longer two but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let not man separate.“   Continue at Brittany Lind

When the Not-Yet Married Meet: Dating to Display Jesus

Dating is dead.

So says the media. Girls, stop expecting guys to make any formal attempt at winning your affections. Don’t sit around waiting for a boy to make you a priority, communicate his intentions, or even call you on the phone. Exclusivity and intentionality are ancient rituals, things of the past, and misplaced hopes.

I beg to differ. It’s not that this new line of thinking is necessarily untrue today, or that it’s not the current and corrupt trend of our culture. It’s wrong. One of our most precious pursuits, that of a life-long partner for all of life, is tragically being relegated to tweets, texts, and Facebook pokes, to ambiguous flirtation and fooling around. It’s wrong.

Dating That Preserves Marriage

There is a God. And this God created and rules his world, including men, women, the biological compulsions that bind them together, and the institution that declares their union and keeps it sacred and safe. Therefore, only he can prescribe the purpose, parameters, and means of our marriages.

If fullness of life could be found in sexual stimulation, or if it was just a matter of making babies, the “forget formality and just have sex” approach might temporarily satisfy cravings and cause enough conception. But God had much more in mind with romance than orgasms or even procreation, and so should we. So must we.

When people in the world are expecting less and less of each other in dating, God isn’t — so among the single we have to work harder in our not-yet married relationships to preserve what marriage ought to picture and provide.

Mom, Where Do Weddings Come From?

Nothing in my life and faith has been more confusing and spiritually hazardous than my pursuit of marriage. From far too young, I longed for the affection, safety, and intimacy I anticipated with a wife.    Continue at Marshall Segal

Attorney General Sues Florist for Refusing to Provide Flowers for a Same-Sex Wedding

Attorney General Bob Ferguson of Washington State is suing Arlene’s Flowers & Gifts for refusing to provide flowers for a same-sex wedding. The owner of the flower shop, Barronelle Stutzman, says she is a Christian and cannot in good conscience participate in a same-sex wedding ceremony. Nevertheless, Attorney General Ferguson says the refusal is illegal and told the Seattle Post-Intelligencer the following:

As Attorney General, it is my job to enforce the laws of the state of Washington. Under the Consumer Protection Act, it is unlawful to discriminate against customers based on sexual orientation. If a business provides a product or service to opposite-sex couples for their weddings, then it must provide same sex couples the same product or service.

So Ferguson is suing to fine Arlene’s Flowers & Gifts for every infraction of Washington’s Consumer Protection Act. It would cost the company $2,000 per infraction. That means that, if enough gay couples were refused service, Arlene’s Flowers & Gifts could go out of business.

Robert Ingersol and Curt Freed are the gay couple in question, and they had been customers of Stutzman for over ten years. So the florist wasn’t refusing service to gay people in general. The florist simply didn’t want to participate in a same-sex ceremony. She describes what happened when Ingersol asked for her to provide flowers for his wedding:

He said he decided to get married and before he got through I grabbed his hand and said, ‘I am sorry. I can’t do your wedding because of my relationship with Jesus Christ.’ We hugged each other and he left, and I assumed it was the end of the story.   Continue at Denny Burk

Should a Minister Preach the Funerals of Unbelievers?

Recently I argued that a Christian minister ought not officiate at wedding ceremonies for unbelievers. These weddings, I contended, represent the trivialization of the Christian ministry and a loss of pastoral courage. Since then, I've received lots of queries about funerals. Should a Christian minister preach the funeral of an unbeliever? That's a very good question.

Some of the saddest moments of my ministry have been in funeral homes, preaching for people I didn't know. Early on in ministry, I became the "go to" minister for a local mortician when one of his deceased passed away with no religious affiliation. I've seen almost empty chapels, with no one to do the eulogy but me. And I've seen full chapels of family members who clearly hated the deceased. I had one deceased woman's daughter tell me there was nothing positive she could think to say about her mother, nothing at all, except that she did feed the birds in her backyard.

Do I think it was biblically acceptable to preach those funerals? Yes. Would I do it again today? Yes.

A funeral is an entirely different matter than a wedding. A wedding is about the near future (near meaning the next 30 to 70 years or so). A funeral is about the past, and about the ultimate future (the resurrection from the dead). A wedding is the witnessing of vows, the calling together of a covenant between two persons. A funeral doesn't call any reality together. It commits the body of the dead to the earth and awaits the resurrection of both the just and the unjust.  Continue at Russell D. Moore

Would I Officiate a Wedding for Two Unbelievers? Yes

Editors' Note: Even though they may have little connection to a church, many couples today still want a traditional wedding ceremony with a pastor officiating. If you were the pastor, how would you respond? In this article, Deepak Reju of Capitol Hill Baptist Church says "yes" with conditions. For a different take, see Russell Moore's answer.

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Suppose Debbie, who is not a Christian, asked me if I would officiate at her wedding. She is planning to get married to her boyfriend, who is also not a Christian. With a few important conditions, I would likely say, "Yes." Why would I marry two non-Christians?

Marriage is a creation ordinance. God created marriage (Gen 2:15-25). He made it as a fundamental part of how he designed the world we live in. God gave marriage as a gift to the first couple and also to all men and women who desire to partake (James 1:17).

Marriage is also a common grace institution; a grace given by God to both Christians and non-Christians alike (Isaiah 62:5; Ezek 44:22; Matt 19:10; Matt 22:24-28; Luke 17:27; Luke 20:34). Heterosexual marriage is legally recognized as a universal privilege for any man and woman who desires it. As Solomon declares to his son, "He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord" (Prov 18:22).

A faithful husband and wife are an imperfect picture of God's committed love. Sin may hinder our ability to reflect what God is like, but even as sinners, we remain people made in the image of God. As such, two non-Christians who stay committed to one another remind us of God. Their marriage covenant reflects God's committed, covenantal love better than our fickle, noncommittal love.  Continue at Deepak Reju

Is There Enough Teaching in the Church?

I know this sounds like a crazy notion. I’m not 100% convinced myself. But I’ve begun to wonder if there might not be enough public teaching in today’s church.

That probably sounds nuts to many churchgoers, not to mention most pastors. Plenty of ministers already feel swamped with some combination of morning service, evening service, Sunday school, catechism, and midweek teaching, not to mention extra preps for weddings, funerals, and special events. I also realize I’m swimming up stream against the current of contemporary church thought which says the one thing we certainly have enough of is teaching. We are already stuffed full with Bible studies, services, small groups, conferences, and classes. The last thing we need is another opportunity to get our brains crammed with more information.

But see if you can track with these observations.

(1) Paul told Timothy: “devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching” (1 Tim. 4:13). Later, the Apostle told his young protege to “practice these things” and “immerse yourself in them” (v. 15). It seems to me the normal pattern of pastoral ministry should not one of drowning in administration or getting in over your head in meetings or under water in visitation. Normally, the pastor should say of his week, “I was immersed in the public ministry of reading, teaching, and exhorting from the Scriptures.” It’s fair to assume study time counts in this “immersion” but there’s no question Paul is talking about the public activities of reading and preaching the Bible.

(2) Calvin, like many of the Reformers with him and many preachers after him, was teaching all the time. From 1549 onward Calvin preached twice on Sundays and every weekday on alternating weeks. This meant about 10 sermons every two weeks. Now, it’s also worth pointing out Calvin worked himself to death in his early fifties. He’s not a model in everything. But this was also an era when most people died young, and Calvin barely ate and barely slept. So preaching isn’t mainly to blame. Calvin killed Calvin more than teaching killed Calvin.  Continue at Kevin DeYoung

Would You Attend a Same-Sex Wedding?

Would you attend a same-sex wedding ceremony? That question was posed recently to Houston pastor Joel Osteen, and Osteen said that he would attend, if the wedding involved friends. This came just after Osteen indicated that he could not perform a same-sex marriage ceremony, since he believes that homosexuality is a sin.

I recently wrote about this exchange, suggesting that Osteen’s position is morally and theologically incoherent. As I said:

This is beyond mere incoherence. It is moral and theological nonsense. More than that, it is a massive statement of ministerial malpractice. . . .  You cannot celebrate what you say you know to be sin. You cannot honestly say that same-sex marriage defies the law of God, and then join in the celebration of that ceremony.    Keep Reading>>>

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