Why Theology and Youth Ministry Seldom Mix

Editors' Note: Everyone has an opinion about youth ministry. Parents, pastors, and the youth themselves have expectations and demands that don't always overlap. But the rash of dire statistics about the ineffectiveness of youth ministry has prompted rethinking in these ranks. So we devote one day per week this month to exploring several issues in youth ministry, including its history, problems, and biblical mandate. The Gospel Coalition thanks Cameron Cole and the leadership team of Rooted: A Theology Conference for Student Ministry for their help in compiling this series. Cathedral Church of the Advent in Birmingham, Alabama, will host their 2012 conference from August 9 to 11. Speakers Ray Ortlund, Timothy George, and Mary Willson will expound on the conference theme, "Adopted: The Beauty of Grace."

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Everyone knows the stereotype of the youth minister as a big kid with an expertise in games and an affinity for creative facial hair and body piercings. Despite the stereotype, many youth pastors are passionate and intelligent. Yet youth ministry has a reputation for not doing serious theology. In the book The Theological Turn in Youth Ministry, Andrew Root describes a discussion about a PhD program for youth ministry at his seminary. A biblical scholar asked, "Who is going to teach the seminar on group mixers?" Root goes on to describe the perception of youth ministers as theologically "lightweight." The National Study of Youth and Religion notes, "The vast majority of teens, who call themselves Christians, haven't been well educated in religious doctrine and, therefore, really don't know what they believe." Certainly, these results, at least to some degree, reflect the typically shallow theological culture of youth ministry. Why, then, does there seem to be a gap between youth ministry and theology?   Continue at Cameron Cole and Dave Wright

The Pastor's Wife Is a Pastor's Wife

"There you are," a woman whispered in my ear as she grabbed my elbow during a church gathering. "I've been looking everywhere for you!"

I braced myself. You never know what a statement like that could mean---especially at a church gathering.

Did I leave my car running in the parking lot? Did one of my kids have an accident involving bodily fluids? Or horror of all horrors---is my husband's zipper down while he's preaching?

The woman led me from the back of the meeting room where I was standing into the lobby area.

Was there someone critically in need of prayer? Is there a baby being born in the lobby? Did someone leave a pumpkin latte out here with my name on it?

The woman urgently pointed to the ceiling. "Look! The air conditioning isn't cold enough. You have to fix it."

I breathed a sigh of relief and gave her a quick hug. "The air conditioner? I don't know how to fix the air conditioner. I barely know how to read a Celsius thermostat."

She thought about this for a second and chuckled. "But you are the pastor's wife."

My Biggest Fear as a Pastor's Wife  Continue at Gloria Furman

Five Ways to Harm Your Husband by Being a “Good” Wife

Several weeks ago Wendy Alsup wrote a striking post about how complementarians (folks who believe that men and women have differing roles in society, the home, and the church) are shooting ourselves in the foot with faulty reasoning and extra-Biblical teaching. It seems that on our way to understanding manhood and womanhood, our generation has started taking some shortcuts--shortcuts that are going to have significant consequences on whether or not we develop a fully Biblical understanding of gender and human relationships. In this sense, the things she mentioned are serious; but even more so is her overarching point: while we may have a seemingly noble goal, if we don’t reach that goal in an authentic and legitimate manner, we undermine everything we are trying to accomplish.

This is not a new problem for us humans. Whether it’s yelling at our kids to be quiet or speeding down the highway to avoid being late to an appointment, we regularly--although often unintentionally--conduct our lives under the assumption that the end justifies the means. Wendy’s post also got me to thinking about how this kind of pragmatism can invade our relationships, specifically our marriages.

Is it possible that in our attempts to reach an ideal, in our progress toward becoming “good” wives and husbands, we could actually be harming each other? I think it’s more than possible; I think it’s very common. And like so many areas of Christian living, the danger is not so much in what we’re doing, as what’s happening in our hearts and revealed through the process of doing them. And while I can’t speak for the men, here some problematic tendencies I’ve observed among Christian women—they are simply things I’ve heard, things I’ve seen, and truthfully, things I’ve done myself at times.

Let’s just file them under: “It’s a bad thing when…

1) You encourage your husband to be a leader… the same way you encourage good behavior in your child or pet. Many women I know are not truly satisfied with their husbands, but they are “gracious” enough to give them time and space to develop. Much like they are gracious enough to give their children time and space to mature. While waiting, they offer false praise or over-praise them for small acts of kindness or what they consider to be “growth.”  This is dangerous for two reasons: First, it is fundamentally condescending. And second, people know when you are not being truthful. What your husband learns is the same thing that any of us learn once we realize praise is false or overinflated: he learns that he cannot fully trust you or worse, that you didn’t think he was capable of success in the first place. Continue at Being a Good Wife