5 Things Churches Can Do to Help Those Who Struggle with Same-Sex Attraction

Wise counsel from Sam Allberry, drawn from his book  Is God Anti-Gay? And Other Questions about Homosexuality, the Bible and Same-sex Attraction (The Good Book Company, 2013), 

1. Make it easy to talk about
2. Honor singleness
3. Remember that church is family
4. Deal with biblical models of masculinity and femininity, rather than cultural stereotypes
5. Provide good pastoral support

You can read an explanation of each point here.

HT: Justin Taylor

Is It Sin to Experience Same-Sex Attraction?

There is no way around it. Dealing with same-sex attraction is messy.

There are many issues that, at least on the surface, do not seem clear. Take this question, for example: Is same-sex attraction (SSA) itself sinful, and if so, how should we deal with it?

Here is my humble attempt at an answer.

Taking Our Cues from the Bible

First, note briefly three biblical observations:

1. The Bible explicitly says that impenitent homosexual acts, not homosexual desires, keep a person from inheriting the kingdom of God. “Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9–10).

2. The Bible does not seem to explicitly mention same-sex attraction. It is possible that the “dishonorable passions” in Romans 1:26 could be dealing with SSA, but it’s unclear whether this is a reference to simply experiencing an attraction, or following the attraction into active lusting.    Continue at Nick Roen

RESOURCES: Same-Sex Attraction

Here’s another resource page for your one-another discipleship counseling ministry…

BOOKS/BOOKLETS

• Coming Clean: Overcoming Lust through Biblical Accountability [free E-book] (Luke Gilkerson, Covenant Eyes)
• HELP! My Teen Is Gay (Ben Marshall)
• Hope for the Homosexual – E-book (Paul Tautges)
• It’s All About Me: The Problem with Masturbation (Winston Smith)
• Out of a Far Country: A Gay Son’s Journey to God, A Broken Mother’s Search for Hope (Christopher Yuan)
• Sexual Addiction: Freedom from Compulsive Behavior (David Powlison)
• The Bible and Homosexual Practice (Robert Gagnon)
• Washed and Waiting: Reflections on Christian Faithfulness and Homosexuality (Wesley Hill)  See the rest HERE

The Unique Struggle of Same-Sex Attraction

Not long ago, someone asked me how long I've been dealing with same-sex attractions. I was surprised to find a big, round number before me: 20 years. Of those 20 years, five and a half have been as a married man and as a father. I'm not gay: I'm a new creation in Christ. I am a Christian struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions (SSA). I am a pastoral worker and a Bible college student, and homosexuality has been a prominent part of my journey as a Christian. I wish that it were not so, though part of me knows that God has been using this struggle powerfully to bring me to himself.

SSA has shown me how God can work in a specific issue like homosexuality while also showing me glimpses of God's fatherly heart and sin's deep effects on other people. It's given me personal and emotional insight as well as pastoral understanding. I had hoped God would have shown me these things in another, less painful and grief-stricken way, but his ways are his ways, mysterious and otherworldly, and I'm not one to tell him how he can do his job. His path has brought me to see same-sex attraction (SSA) as something both unique and something not so special.

Same as Other Sins?

 

In many ways SSA is similar to other forms of temptation. In God's view of sin being equally offensive as other sins, homosexuality is not all that special. For example, in 1 Corinthians 6 Paul says:

Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.

For some, this is good news: homosexuality is no worse than other sins in the eyes of God, as all sin is equally punishable. I'm no better or worse a person for having SSA. I'm no more or less broken than anyone else simply because of the particular manifestation of my brokenness. I am no more or less saved because of it, and I need no extra portion of the Holy Spirit.   Continue at Haydn Sennitt

Horton on Same-Sex Attraction and Homosexuality

Mike Horton was asked by the folks at CT to respond to Alan Chambers (the president of Exodus International).  A link to his essay is now posted on the White Horse Inn blog.

If this is not a great argument for the importance of understanding the nature of sin, the wonders of grace, and the role of the church in dealing with people struggling with sin, I don't know what is.  Great stuff! Read it HERE

“Let Marriage Be Held in Honor” — Thinking Biblically About So-Called Same-Sex Marriage

Hebrews 13:1–6,

Let brotherly love continue. ² Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares. ³ Remember those who are in prison, as though in prison with them, and those who are mistreated, since you also are in the body. ⁴ Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous. ⁵ Keep your life free from love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.” ⁶ So we can confidently say, “The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?”

Today’s message is built around eight points designed to give a biblical vision of marriage in relation to homosexuality, and in relation to the proposed Marriage Amendment in Minnesota. I asked that Hebrews 13:1–6 be read not because I will give an exposition of it, but to highlight that one phrase in verse 4: “Let marriage be held in honor among all.” That is what I hope to advance, for the glory God and for your guidance and your good.

1. Marriage is created and defined by God in the Scriptures as the sexual and covenantal union of a man and a woman in life-long allegiance to each other alone, as husband and wife, with a view to displaying Christ’s covenant relationship to his blood-bought church.

 

This is seen most clearly from four passages where these truths are woven together.

1. Genesis 1:27–28

Genesis 1:27–28: “God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. ²⁸ And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth.”

2. Genesis 2:23–24

And then God linked his design in manhood and womanhood with marriage in Genesis 2:23–24. When the woman is created from his side, the man exclaims: “This at last is bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man.” ²⁴ Therefore, a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.” 

In other words, God created man male and female so that there might be a one-flesh sexual union and covenantal cleaving with a view to multiplying the human race, and displaying God’s covenant with his people, and eventually Christ's covenant with his church.   Continue at John Piper