The Local Church is THE place for Biblical Counseling

Can local churches become a natural home for counseling ministry? Often the limitations or failures of the church get cited first, making it seem that church is at best an adjunct to “the real work of counseling.” But, in principle, the local church is the natural home for face-to-face ministry. Counseling can and should thrive in local churches. Here are five of the numerous advantages to counseling being localized in the church.

First, a wise pastor (or friend, elder, small group leader, mentor, etc.) has many advantages over the secular paradigm of the office-bound counselor. In your own church you know people. You have seen them in action. Perhaps you know their parents and friends. You see how they treat their kids. You know how they handle themselves in a group. You have “back-story,” and aren’t limited to hearing only one side of the story. You know what kind of Christian nurture they are receiving week to week—and counseling can build on that. In addition to a wider knowledge base, you relate at multiple levels. You can invite people to your home, and invite yourself into their home. You can initiate the relationship, and express your concern. In contrast, office-bound counseling is structurally passive, always only on the receiving end of inquiry or referral. There is an active, outreaching quality to counseling ministry when we conceptualize it in the church.   Continue at David Powlison

Book Review: Friends and Lovers by Joel. R. Beeke

There appears to be a marriage book renaissance going on within the Reformed-ish circles of evangelicalism and this is a very good thing indeed. One only has to look at the divorce rates both inside and outside the church to see that marriage is in crisis. But why? Why are we so unhappy in our marriages? In Friends and Lovers: Cultivating Companionship and Intimacy in Marriage, Joel Beeke argues it’s a gospel issue—and the true hope for a God-glorifying marriage is found in Jesus:

By nature we are ignorant of what true love and marriage should be, but Christ our prophet offers us guidance in the Bible. We are guilty of dishonoring marriage through our disobedience towards the God who designed it, but Christ our priest shed his blood for the forgiveness of our sins and now intercedes for us. We are rebels without the strength to overcome the evil that distorts and disrupts our human relationships, but Christ our king conquers sin and rules us by his mighty Spirit, making all things new—including our marriages.

In looking at Christ as the foundation of our marriages, Beeke divides his argument into two parts—the need for spouses to be friends and friendship’s impact on marital intimacy. This pattern is familiar, but worth repeating. On cultivating friendship within marriage, he writes:

Many people in our culture think that love is something you fall into and therefore can easily fall out of. That might be true of passing emotions, but true friendship relies on cultivation: uprooting bad attitudes, planting daily seeds of love towards one another, pulling out weeds and eliminating pests that threaten to choke the relationship, watering the tender plants with daily prayer, and then taking time to reap a harvest of love and enjoyment in each other’s company. . . . Friendship does not persist, deepen, and grow automatically. . . . [It] cannot be warmed up by thirty seconds in the microwave. So much today is instant, but friendship is not. It costs something. It costs you yourself, your commitment, and your vulnerability. There are no rush orders in friendship. It must be baked slowly, gently, and continually if we want the flavor we are looking for.  Continue at Aaron Armstrong

Friend of the World; Enemy of God

Lot began his career as a tent-dweller like Abraham. But after he parted from his uncle, Genesis 13:12 says "he pitched his tent toward Sodom." Soon he moved into the city and became comfortable there.

In fact, Lot apparently became a man of some importance in the community, because Genesis 19:1 says "Lot was sitting in the gate of Sodom"—which tells us that he ultimately became a kind of civic official there. To have a claim on that place, you had to be someone of importance, recognized by everyone in the city.

He may have initially sought prominence in Sodom out of a belief that such status would better enable him to "engage the culture." But in the end Lot had absolutely no influence for good there.

As much as Lot may have enjoyed the comforts of city life, he never felt at home in Sodom. Peter tells us Lot's righteous soul was vexed every day by the wickedness of that city's rampant perversions. No matter how settled Lot became in Sodom, his heart was never at home in that city. He never came to love the debauchery and evil indulgences that characterized that place.

Mrs. Lot was different. She was attached to Sodom. If that city was not her home when Lot married her, it became her home in every sense. She grew to love to the place. No matter how evil it was, she did not want to leave. She probably loved being the wife of a prominent person in such a sophisticated, morally liberated city. There is no suggestion that her soul was vexed by the wickedness there.   Keep Reading >>>

Faithful are the Wounds of a Friend

“Better is open rebuke than hidden love. Faithful are the wounds of a friend; profuse are the kisses of an enemy.” Proverbs 27: 5, 6

 

On Sunday afternoon I wrote an article dealing with the earthquake and tsunami and the resultant devastation in Japan, looking at it from a theological perspective. Perhaps you have read it here on the blog. 

I spent quite some time pouring over and examining every word, seeking to make the issues as clear and compelling as possible for those who would read it. I read and then re-read the article through a couple of times. Then I had the idea of sending it to a gentleman whom I have never met, but who has already become something of a good friend through the internet. I wanted him to look at the article I had written with fresh eyes, so to speak, and I asked for his advice on how to improve it or what I might add to it. I felt something might be missing, but I was not sure what it might be. Boy, was I in for a surprise! 

In that I have not got permission to mention my friend’s name here (he has no idea I am writing this), he will remain anonymous. However, after reading my article, this was his response:

“John,
I affirm everything you said…theologically.

My problem…and the problem I have with almost all Reformed and Calvinistic folks when speaking of these things is that we don’t evince a shred of compassion or understanding. We think playing the hard doctrine card is sufficient to address broken hearts and broken lives… and I’m here to tell you it’s not.

Until we learn to mourn with those who mourn and weep with those who weep, few will be attracted to the truth we have to share. Mix in some compassion and understanding… because I sense that you have great measures of both to give.

The article is good and sound theology…but it can be so much more.

Please hear me…I’m not trying to be critical of you in a personal way at all. I just believe you have much more to give…” Keep Reading>>>

Do You Want a Friend?

Read all about Friend HERE