Chapter 10 of Real Marriage will most certainly prove to be
the most controversial chapter of the book. It has the simple title “Can
We _____?,” and the Driscolls fill-in the blank of the chapter title
with a variety of sexual activities that are sometimes considered taboo.
The chapter goes on to describe these activities in explicit detail,
and then the authors give an ethical assessment of each activity for
Christians.
The problems begin at the beginning of the chapter where the Driscolls try to pre-empt critics by saying,
If you are older, from a highly
conservative religious background, live far away from a major city, do
not spend much time on the internet, or do not have cable television,
the odds are that you will want to read this chapter while sitting down,
with the medics ready on speed dial.
If you are one of those people who do
not know that the world has changed sexually, read this chapter not to
argue or fight, but rather to learn about how to be a good missionary in
this sexualized culture, able to answer people’s questions without
blushing (p. 177).
In my view, these remarks start the whole conversation off on the
wrong foot. The authors know that the explicit nature of this chapter
will be offensive to some readers. But they address offended readers not
by allaying their concerns but by suggesting that anyone uncomfortable
with the content must be either a rube or uninterested in reaching the
culture for Christ. To those with legitimate concerns, these remarks
come across as dismissive at best and patronizing at worst. Read it all HERE
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