Of Straw Men and Shameful Speech, Part 3

Today we’re going to wrap up this mini-series which responds to arguments that advocate for pastors to engage in sexually explicit dialogue with Christian married couples. We’ve already taken a look at the mistaken notion that the current age is uniquely porn-saturated compared to past years. Then we examined the claim that explicit sexual dialogue is necessary for Christians with an immoral past need to deal helpfully with those past issues.

Finally, we come to address two further arguments.

(3) Most pastors—especially those over 45 and “bound up” in the conservative sexual practices of past, less informed generations—are clueless about the sexual “hang-ups” young couples face today, or they are simply afraid to offer the frank dialogue essential for building a healthy sexual life in marriage.

This is probably the most blatant straw man being peddled today as justification for explicit sex-counsel.  Honestly, I’m stunned at how quickly some pastors have embraced this assumption.  The challenges of a sin-cursed intimate life are, at their core, the same in every generation.  Why?  Because we’re all sin-cursed!  Victorian inhibitions of the past—though they restrained sexuality in the public square—were no power against private fleshly lusts of the heart.  The sinner’s battle with lust is universal no matter what cultural norms are deemed appropriate for public consumption.  The lack of moral restraint in public doesn’t create lust in the heart, but gives opportunity to what’s already there (Mark 7:18-23).   Continue at Jerry Wragg

Of Straw Men and Shameful Speech

Here are the main arguments I continue to hear played over and over for why the church ought to regularly engage in sexually explicit dialogue with Christian married couples:

1. Young couples today are coming out of a uniquely porn-saturated culture, and are terribly confused about what is sexually appropriate in a Christian marriage.
2. New Christians with an immoral past are prone to swing the pendulum too drastically, becoming sexually inhibited in marriage despite our God-given freedom.  Explicit sexual honesty between married couples “breaks down” the legalistic barriers and false shame threatening so many marriages today.
3. Most pastors—especially those over 45 and “bound up” in the conservative sexual practices of past, less informed generations—are clueless about the sexual “hang-ups” young couples face today, or they are simply afraid to offer the frank dialogue essential for building a healthy sexual life in marriage.
4. If the church remains silent, unwilling to provide raw, graphic answers to today’s average sex questions, she will lose all her influence with the confused, porn-ified couples coming into the body of Christ. 

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