Should Christian pastors preside at marriage ceremonies for
cohabitating couples? That is not just a theoretical question — it is a
pastoral dilemma faced by almost every pastor. Given the rising rates of
cohabitation, this question will only grow more pressing.
In recent days, Christianity Today raised the question, and
asked a panel of Christians to respond with brief answers to this
question. I was among those asked, and here is my response:
“Pastors are stewards of a biblical understanding of
sexuality. Marrying cohabiters miscommunicates the teaching function
of marriage. I would only marry couples that were repentant, had
forsaken the sin of cohabitating, and sought the remedy of marriage.
Marriage does not simply validate the long-term commitment of a couple
whose relationship has been based upon cohabitation. There’s another
problem, which has to do with the fact that pastors are not the only
stewards of marriage. In other words, marriage is accessible to persons
outside the church. So when the church allows a marriage to take place
within its life, it should be validating this in a way that goes
beyond marriage as a creation institution and gets to what marriage is
teaching in the ceremony of the church and the church’s stewardship of
marriage.” Keep Reading...
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