Children Before the Father

As believers in Jesus Christ, we are justified before the Judge of Heaven. We have received the imputed righteousness of Christ as a gift of God’s grace. As a result, nothing can ever separate us from Him. However, though our sin does not change the reality of our new found relationship with God, it does impact our father/son or father/daughter relationship with him. God no longer deals with us as his enemies because, by faith in Christ, we have become his children; the siblings of Jesus (Hebrews 2:11) as well as his “friends” (John 15:15). God now deals with us “as sons” (Hebrews 12:7), which means he loves us too much to leave us alone in our sin. Though our “at peace” standing with God as our Judge is unchanging, our peaceful fellowship with him as our Father is affected when we disobey. This is because of his loyal love. He loves us too much to sit back and do nothing when sin threatens to harm us. The clearest passage teaching this is Hebrews 12:4-11.

In your struggle against sin you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons? “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

When God the Father chastens his children the goal is always restorative—never punitive. To say it again, God does not punish His children—He disciplines them. There is an enormous difference.    Continue at Paul Tautges

So You Want to Date My Daughter?

1. You must love Jesus. I don't care if you're a "good Christian boy." I was one of those too. So I know the tricks. I'm going to ask you specific, heart-testing questions about your spiritual affections, your daily devotional life, your idols, your disciplines, and the like. I'll cut you a little bit of slack because you're young and hormonal and your pre-frontal lobe isn't fully developed yet, but I'll be watching you like a hawk. I know you. I was you. You will think you can fool me, and you likely have fooled many other dads who didn't pay much attention to their daughters' suitors, but I will be on you like Bourne on that guy whose neck he broke. Which guy was that? Every guy. So love Jesus more than my daughter or go home.

2. You will install X3Watch or Covenant Eyes on your computer and mobile devices and have your regular reports sent to me.

3. I will talk to your dad and tell him I will hold him responsible if you don't treat my daughter like a lady. If he thinks I'm a crazy person, you fail the test and won't get to date her. If he understands what I'm saying, that bodes well for you.

4. You will pay for everything. Oh, sure, every now and then my daughter can buy you a Coke or something and a gift on your birthday and at Christmas. But you pay for meals, movies, outings, whatever else. Don't have a job? I'm sorry, why I am talking to you again?

5. You will accept my Facebook friend request.

6. If it looks like you need a belt to hold your pants up, I will assume you don't have a job. See #4.

7. Young people dating are putting their best face forward, so if you appear impatient, ill-tempered, or ill-mannered, I know you will gradually become more so over time. I will have no jerks dating my daughters.

8. If I am not your pastor, I will talk to the man who is. If your pastor is a woman, why I am talking to you, again?

9. You don't love my daughter. You have no idea what love is. You like her and you might love her someday. That's an okay start with me, so put the seatbelt on the mushy gushy stuff. Don't profess your undying love, quote stupid love song lyrics to her, tell her you'd die for her, or feed her any other boneheaded lines that are way out of your depth as a horny little idiot. A lady's heart is a fragile thing. If you play with hers, I will show you yours.  Continue at The Thinklings

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What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him

Byron Yawn has the ignominious distinction of being the first person to ever invite me to be a keynote speaker at a conference. That was a long time ago, and it seems like an even longer time, but he and I have stayed in touch since then and I was excited to hear of his work on a book titled What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him. I had anticipated that I would be reading a book on fatherhood, but was pleasantly surprised to learn that it is actually far more than that.

It seems notable that I am writing this review on the occasion of my son’s twelfth birthday. It is probable that he is already more than half way to striking out on his own, to marrying, to beginning a family. I’ve already used up half of my opportunities to teach him what a father ought to teach his son. This is the kind of thought that can very nearly move me to tears; rarely do I feel less up to the task and more dependent on grace than in fatherhood. In that regard this book was both a challenge and a comfort.

What Every Man Wishes His Father Had Told Him is a book of essays more than it is a book that flows easily and logically from the first chapter to the last; the topics are much like the lessons a father will teach his son in that they meander a little bit, wandering from being a son to being a father and a man and a husband. They extend from biblical manhood to sincerity to pornography to having “the talk” with your son, to integrity. Each one is punctuated by wisdom that is sometimes biblical and sometimes, well, just plain practical (At least to my recollection the Bible doesn’t comment on why you don’t want to cut into a steak to see if it’s ready to eat). These are not lessons for me to teach my son; not first and foremost. These are first lessons I need to learn and apply to my own life. There is a proper order to these things. Continue at Tim Challies

The Day I Stopped Hating my Dad – The Story of a Lost Teen

My dad took his first drink when he was 21-years old.

He took his last drink 21-years later.

In-between his first and last drink he never stopped drinking.

This may be weird to you, but I’m gonna say it: I do not know what a normal dad smells like.

My dad was not a normal dad: he smelled odd.

His breath was an amalgamated concoction of air, nicotine, and alcohol.

His skin had a gummy bear feel to it. When you rubbed his skin, it felt kinda gooey.

He was also a mean drunk. When he got drunk, he got angry and if he was not sulking in a chair, he was yelling at his children. I do not recall ever hearing the word “love” in our home.

Perhaps someone said, “I love you,” but I do not remember it. Love was not something I knew about. I had heard about it through television and rock songs, but I did not know what it really meant or how it was supposed to be lived out.

You wouldn’t know this either, but I’m gonna say this too: I never called my dad, “dad” or “father.” Even as I type the letters d-a-d, I’m reminded that those letters still seem a bit odd when I relate them to my father.

We had a nickname that we called him, but I’ll spare you that information. It took me about 10 years after he died to refer to him as “dad.” The D-word was not an appellation we used for him.

These circumstances were not unusual for me because my life was wall-to-wall dysfunction from birth until I was born the second time at twenty-five years old. To refrain from calling my dad “dad” was just part of the deal. If you don’t know any better, then it becomes the unchangeable and assumed norm.

Then he died Continue at Rick Thomas

Hugh Hefner Will Die Alone

Lust is a master deceiver and porn is its masterpiece.  Porn is lust in its most tantalizing form. It leaves nothing to the imagination. As such, porn is the most blatant of all lust’s lies. It’s a hideous beast, which mercilessly pummels its victims. Like lambs to slaughter it turns otherwise strong, smart and successful men into idiots. Men who risk careers, reputation, incomes and family to sneak peeks on company computers that they know have filters and tracking software, or fall headlong into binges of visual excess while on a business trip charging porn to credit cards they know have records.

It’s all a lie. We know it’s not real. We know it will never deliver. We know too well how it destroys people and marriages. Yet we believe what it says. Every time we do it mocks us for our stupidity. No wonder the father in proverbs confronted his son with a similar warning, “For on account of a harlot one is reduced to a loaf of bread, and an adulteress hunts for the precious life.” Or, again in the vernacular, “Hey Moron!  Don’t be stupid!” Read it all HERE