Some of a single person’s darkest days fall after a breakup.
You risked your heart. You shared your life. You bought the gifts, made the memories, and dreamed your dreams together
— and it fell apart. Now, you’re back at square one in the quest for
marriage, and it feels lonelier than square one, and further from the
altar, because of all you’ve spent and lost.
No one begins dating someone hoping to break it off someday. The
wiring in most of us has us longing for the wedding day. We’re looking,
sometimes it feels frantically, for love, for affection and security and
companionship and commitment and intimacy and help. After all, God seems to want most of us to be married (Genesis 2:18; Proverbs 18:22; 1 Corinthians 7:2, 9). But that sure hasn’t made getting married easy.
The Pain of Intimacy Without Matrimony
The reality is that good, Christ-exalting relationships very often
fail before the ceremony, never to be recovered romantically. The pain
cuts deeper and lingers longer than most pain young people have felt in
their lives. I feel it deeply even typing these words. It’s one of the
hardest things for me to write or speak about: the pain of intimacy that
fell short of matrimony.
Breakups in the church are painful and uncomfortable, and many of us
have or will walk this dark and lonely road. So here are nine lessons
for building hope and loving others when Christians end a not-yet
marriage. Continue at Marshall Segal
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