Stop Using Facebook To Send A Message to People That You Won't Confront

Christians who use Facebook to complain about people instead of confronting according to Matthew 18:15-35 are in error. Passive-aggresiveness is their forte. I see it all the time. Veiled complaints and accusations against people. General complaints about the church and being hurt and people treating you wrong and sinning against you. Yet, you do not speak directly to the people who hurt you. You just lash out at everyone and throw a blanket of blame, victimhood, and condemnation among everyone who scrolls down their newsfeed. We might pray for you or we might just move on and look for cute kitten pictures. Either way, your hurt/pain did not receive the attention and dignity and chance for healing that it deserved. You cheapened yourself and the rest of us along with you.

 

This is how it works: Someone who is obviously hurt makes some kind of general remark accusing or complaining about someone or some situation. It is obvious that they are talking about something specific, but no one knows what, exactly. There is no possibility for peace or reconciliation or for anyone to try and make things right. People reading the post wonder who is being talked about and some wonder if, perhaps, they are the ones being targeted. Speculation abounds. But, nothing can be said because to assume that the post is about you is considered vain and self-centered (Carly Simon would agree). To wonder who it is about if you know it could not be about you might fall into vain imaginings or gossip-induced speculation. Unless you are close to the person, you cannot ask. If you do, they will often say that they are just speaking generally or that they do not want to say because they don't want to say someone's name. But, they are hurt and they don't want to deal with it biblically. So, they let the world know and no one can do a thing about it. Every once in a while, someone will confront the person on Facebook for this, but that is an awkward enterprise, to be sure, and one rife with pitfalls.   Continue at Downshore Drift

Beware the Puritan Paralysis

Hyper-introspection is just a spiritualized way of being self-centered.

I spoke at a leadership conference recently, and one of the points I made was The ministry is not about you. In the Q&A, there was some discussion about how pastors can focus attention making sure it’s not about them. At that point, I said, ”If you focus all your energy on making sure it’s not about you, then it is still about you.” 

The key for a gospel-driven leader is this: remember to forget yourself.

Too many times, we dress up our introspection with flowery terms like “accountability” and “mortification” and “gospel-centered change.” Even if all these terms and concepts are good and needed, if our gaze is constantly inward-focused, then we are as self-centered as the Christian who is consumed with seeking personal pleasure apart from God.

We can avoid this type of introspection by avoiding the pitfalls of some of the Puritans. Though the Reformers sought to emphasize the assurance we can have because of God’s grace in election and salvation, their descendants sometimes undercut the beauty of assurance by stressing the fruit of sanctification more than the fact of justification. Self-examination was a “descending into our own hearts” to root out every possible sinful tendency and desire.

Beware the paralysis that comes from this type of introspection. If our goal is to discover, analyze, and root out every aspect of sinfulness in our hearts, then we will never come to the end of the task.    Continue at Trevin Wax