Prior to marriage the thought of conceiving a child seemed quite
easy. Everywhere I looked a woman was pregnant; surely it wasn't that
difficult. My husband and I decided to try for children fairly early
into our marriage. What looked easy before quickly became difficult for
us. I struggled with a hope deferred combined with physical suffering
and a fight to trust God under difficult circumstances.
My first trial was getting pregnant. I waited a year before becoming
pregnant with my first child. I knew then I wasn't infertile. But I
didn't know I would struggle with chronic miscarriages.
I knew there was something wrong during my first pregnancy when I
began getting winded and dizzy going up a set of stairs. Most
miscarriages seem to have little to no symptoms, but my first was full
of evidence. I called my nurse, and within a few days my personal
diagnosis was confirmed.
The sadness that comes along with miscarriages is indescribable. As a
woman who understands that humanity begins at conception; the reality
of a life---a son or a daughter---dying so young was very saddening. Yet
I was full of faith after my first miscarriage. I was comforted knowing
God's love for me and Jesus' relating to me (Hebrews 4:15). Continue at Trillia Newbell
