Carey
Hardy offers some practical advice for Christians seeking to be
biblical parents. Brief excerpts of his 12 steps for raising a Pharisee
are provided here, but you can read the full length article by following
the link at the end of this summary.
Here’s 12 easy steps for raising your children to become Pharisees:
1. Major on external instead of internal issues.
See the
Sermon on the Mount (Matt. 5–6). This is majoring on controlling the
child’s behavior without using Scripture and prayer to deal with his
heart.
2. Exercise excessive control.
This is
not balancing discipline with instruction. This is manifested by the
creation of TOO MANY rules and restrictions, rules that are POINTLESS,
or rules that are HARSH AND TOO STRICT.
3. Overreact to failure.
This
includes not allowing the freedom to fail. It’s treating failure as the
end of the world. You must see failure as an opportunity for
instruction. But many parents live in FEAR of failure—and thus they
become excessive controllers. This may be manifested in calling
attention to every mistake. It’s a performance-based love…expecting
perfection.
4. Be unforgiving and impatient.
A
grouchy/irritable parent, frustrated over everything that goes wrong.
Instead of a home that is filled with joy, there is an oppressive,
negative atmosphere. Sinful choices by your children definitely need to
be dealt with. But make sure there is a visible end to the consequences,
with the home thus returning to a pleasant atmosphere of peace and
tranquility.
5. Elevate preference over biblical principle.
Some
parents are prone to emphasize rules that really don’t reflect the Bible
at all. Instead, the rules reflect personal preferences. Continue at Jared Moore
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