7 Things I’ve Learned When People Leave My Church /

I have been in fulltime ministry now for a little over 3 years.  In all honesty, that is not a lot of time.  I know this.  My wife knows this.  My people know this.  My pastor knows this.  In fact, I had a guy tell me one time that I needed to teach more like John Macarthur and that I will learn how to do it with age and experience.  I have people tell me all the time that they have children my age.  I get pretty interesting stares when I tell first time visitors that I’m one of the pastors.  Oh the joys of being young and trying not to waste it!  In 3 years, I have probably caused 20-30 people to leave our church, scared away several more students, almost fought 2 dudes, and have had “close” friends leave at the drop of a hat.  How’s that for authenticity and realness?  How’s that for a great start to pastoral ministry?  How’s that for being young in ministry?

 

Lately, God has been putting some thoughts on my heart that I want to share concerning this topic.  I am learning, without much fun, how to handle, how to succeed at, and how to love this calling we refer to as pastoral ministry.  You know how it is.  It’s not much fun at times.  And it’s definitely a calling.  What’s more, I want to share some thoughts on this because it seems that we don’t talk about this as much as we should.  Especially as young pastors.  I will be the first to admit that I have much to learn as a pastor; however, I am also bold to admit that many young pastors—like myself at times—are walking around discouraged, feeling incompetent, feeling full of guilt, and feeling attacked by Satan because of the way people have left their church.  I know that I have.

So, here are 7 things I have learned, and am continually learning, when people leave my church:

1.  It’s really hard not to take it personally when people leave.

This is by far the most difficult.  When someone leaves, especially someone close to you, it is hard to not take it personally.  As a pastor (and human), when you find yourself investing in someone, and that someone leaves, it is hard to release them without hurtful feelings.  We are human.  You feel hurt.  Betrayed.  Sold out for the next best thing that pops up in your area, or in your city.  When you are compared—and found lesser— to the latest and greatest Acts 29 gathering, Passion Conference, or Secret Church, then, if not careful, bitterness creeps in.  Don’t get me wrong, I love all of those things, but bitterness is still a real state that the human heart can find itself in if not careful.   Continue at Greg Gibson